Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma by Claire Dederer

12 reviews

beccamarriner's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective medium-paced

4.0

At the beginning the author mentions a fictional calculator that could help us determine whether or not it is acceptable to consume the art of monsterous people. I was looking for this book to give me the answer instead as it’s a discussion I’ve been involved with since I was a music student. I loved the way it was written, sharing personal experience helped me feel less alone in the emotional conflict I feel, especially with artists I’ve grown up with. I think some chapters were misplaced, primarily about abandoning mothers, purely because I think the space could’ve been dedicated to female monsters with more harmful natures. It didn’t give me a definite answer as to how to approach the artworks but it made me feel like there was a safe space to share any feelings of guilt. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Homophobia, Rape, and Suicide

Moderate: Sexism and Toxic relationship

candlewaster's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective slow-paced

3.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting

dantruman's review against another edition

challenging hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

Thoughtful, challenging, informative, reflective. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Antisemitism, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment

The author is not in favor of the above but they come up in relation to the artist’s she discusses.

librarymouse's review against another edition

emotional informative medium-paced

2.75

I don't know that this was necessarily what I was expecting. It was thought provoking at some points. At others, I lost the plot. While critiquing gender essentialism in general and in its association with power dynamics and gender stereotypes, the author often relies on it in the language used around her critique of powerful men.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Alcoholism

emily_mae08's review against another edition

challenging dark informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, and Abandonment

hduc's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

This book deals with monstrous people. Of course there will be disturbing stories. But fear not, take one or two pages at a time. You would come out of this book a heart lighter.

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Content Warnings

Minor: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Genocide, Hate crime, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, and War

larajgriff1's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective slow-paced

3.0

Unfortunately my expectations and hopes for this book were vastly different than what I experienced.  I wanted a more broad view of how "monstrous" artists affect their fandom and what the group as a whole or individually moves forward.  This book is much more personal to the writer and more of a memoir of her life and how she relates to different artists than the effect of their actions on the world.  

However, I cannot fault the author for the book not being what I hoped.  It is written very well and does make some good points about how these moments and artists affect us.  Though in the middle of the book she seems to be "existential crisis-ing" in circles and it doesn't feel like there is momentum again until the last few chapters.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Antisemitism, Religious bigotry, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment

this is a book about people who do terrible things. It is hard to avoid anything, but I did skip a full chapter because I was so uncomfortable with the crimes of an artist.

jainabee's review against another edition

challenging dark funny informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

I am so glad this book exists because I NEEDED it. It needed to exist in the world. The question of how to balance fandom of my favorite works of creativity with the toxic and destructive behaviors of the creators is an issue that torments me. Dederer directly addresses some of my own pet monsters; Woody Allen, David Bowie, JK Rowling, Miles Davis. This book makes me think a LOT. This book is very uncomfortable in a vitally important way. This book challenges me in ways I needed. The chapter comparing and contrasting Valerie Solanas and Sylvia Plath (!!!!!) flipped my wig with the brilliance of unexpected insights about how women respond to the violence of misogyny. The chapter about Lolita is a sparkling gem of brilliant insight and analysis that might be the best review of it I've ever read (spoiler alert: Nabokov is not a monster, though he is a genius). This book is FULL of triggering content, as it describes the crimes of the creators. No way around that. The point of the book seems to be to face the monsters directly and feel the extremely uncomfortable dilemma between loving something, even the monster, "even after everything." I got a lot to think about here.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Antisemitism, Medical content, Kidnapping, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Alcoholism, Cursing, Drug abuse, Genocide, Hate crime, Racism, Xenophobia, Grief, Murder, War, and Classism

Minor: Drug use, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, and Dysphoria

I need to read this book again. And probably again.

danimacuk's review against another edition

challenging emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism and Suicide

Moderate: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, and Antisemitism

Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexual violence, Transphobia, Abortion, Death of parent, and Pregnancy

aqtbenz's review against another edition

Not what I thought this was going to be

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Death, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Sexual harassment