Reviews with content warning for Stalking - Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

Reviews tagging 'Stalking'

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

11 reviews

lillygm's review against another edition

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hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

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growintogardens's review against another edition

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informative medium-paced

4.25

Lots of important scientific info about sex. The writing was accessible, but a little awkward at times. The audiobook had music at times which was weird and annoying. There was a lot of repetition, which can be helpful for people to retain info, but it was a bit much. Overall, I learned a few things that made me feel better about myself and sex in general.

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carlar's review against another edition

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hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.0

Reading this book will probably be the first time you hear there is nothing wrong or broken about your sexuality. It’s informative, easy to understand, and has something for everyone.

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riverofhorton's review against another edition

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challenging funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective slow-paced

3.75

So much of this book is useful... To someone else.

I found I didn't learn a vast amount from this book, and the bits I did learn gave me more of a "Huh, so that answers this personal trauma question", rather than increasing my understanding of sexuality in general.

So many times the book says something, then it'll say "More on that in chapter x." or "Remember this from chapter y?" and it just served as a jolt in the flow.

One of the things I didn't like, and feel I need to mention: This book uses gender where it should be using sex, and woman where it should be using AFAB, etc. I understand that this was likely done to avoid confusing sex the action with sex the characteristic, but it's the kind of thing that I can see affecting other trans masc people more than I. Using gender (and woman) implies that this book would not apply to trans guys, because gender, but it does apply to us (without surgical intervention) because sex.

It does also seem to portray "Don't want/enjoy sex, that's OKay, change the context and you will." Which skirts a little too close to being Acephobic for my comfort. Some people just aren't interested in sex, and that's OKay.

The basic sum, is that this seems to very much be aimed at the cis woman in a heterosexual monogamous relationship seeking to understand her body and sexuality. Which is great for the cishet woman in a mono relationship. And while there are bits that can be applied to folx that don't fit those categories, the lack of inclusive language is noticeable.

Overall, I can see why this book is so popular, and I will be recommending it to others, with the above caveat as needed, but I just didn't get much out of it that I couldn't have got from trauma therapy.

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caity_h's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

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mlkai's review against another edition

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hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

easy to read women’s* sexuality. definitely keeping some of her points in my brain for awhile.

*i will note the research Nagoski references is not inclusive to trans women and nb folks. since she’s pretty research based, some of the “proof” behind her theories also isn’t trans inclusive. but/and/also i do think the theories can translate to trans folks & think they could benefit from this book. really i think most people could benefit, but this book is especially for people with vulvas and people that have sex with people with vulvas.

pt 1 was my favorite. kind of wish the rest has been truncated but that’s ok.

i liked the interspersed stories of the four women, that really added useful context and examples. although, i often couldnt keep track of who was who or what happened in the story previously. also could not for the life of my remember the different between liking wanting and learning which made her later references frustrating bc i didn’t fully get them.

nitpick/formatting thing: the fact that she didn’t use chicago style annotations drove me BONKERS bc i constantly had to go to the end of the book (only to often see it was just a citation w/o commentary —- i created a system quickly but still annoyed me enough to mention in an online review very few ppl will read 😂)

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