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betweentheshelves's review
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Honestly, I'm not quite sure what to think of this book. For me, it was a pretty quick read and the premise is really interesting. However, there is A LOT going on in this book, and the author doesn't necessarily handle everything well. It almost felt like the author wanted to throw as many hot button topics as he could in this book, which mean that a lot of them (especially issues about race) fell through the cracks.
There are a lot of other reviews on here that talk about these issues better than I can, so definitely look them up! If you decide to pick this up, know going in that there's a lot of transphobia, racism, and homophobia. Proceed with caution!
There are a lot of other reviews on here that talk about these issues better than I can, so definitely look them up! If you decide to pick this up, know going in that there's a lot of transphobia, racism, and homophobia. Proceed with caution!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Alcoholism, Racism, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Emotional abuse, Homophobia, and Vomit
nicmgray's review
emotional
funny
inspiring
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Transphobia
myooouyo_o's review
0.25
What the hell was this racist white-ass Bill Hader fucker thinking? Jesus Christ. No.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism
biheretic's review
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
As a novel, I can understand and appreciate the fact that "Both Sides Now" is helping pave the way for LGBTQ protagonists and offers something of value to young trans people. That said, it wasn't the trans novel for me which largely felt due to the inauthentic portrayal of race. There are by no means an abundance of trans novels in the world, but there are enough innovative trans authors in recent years where I feel as if there isn't a need to settle on any LGBT book gracious enough to throw a handful of characters of color into the supporting cast.
When I say that this is a book that may offer something of value to young trans people, I do mean young white trans people. Yes, there are characters of color within the novel including Jonah, the main love interest, however, the addition of a few throwaway lines of Tagalog and references to food does not equal a well-written and nuanced Filipino character. Jonah falls within the same trap many white queer authors struggle with of fulfilling the role of the obligatory love interest of color. What are his interests outside of his current white boyfriend and future white boyfriend? Who's to say. We know that he's beautiful and smart and charismatic because the love interest of color will always embody these traits, but otherwise we're offered little other than some references to him liking Jughead from Riverdale or the fact that he's a teenager who somehow still owns a Hamilton sweatshirt.
Plots where the main character is in love with someone who is already in a relationship are not rare, but there's something disconcerting with the way it is set up for the two white rivals. Continuing on the theme of not knowing much about Jonah, we hear little of the actual details of his relationship or the flaws that are within it other than the problem of racism.
Jonah's boyfriend, Bailey, is the star of a musical production that has heavy anti-Asian themes within it. Jonah is reluctant to confess to his white boyfriend his discomfort around it so, of course, Finch does it for him. It is deeply uncomfortable to watch Jonah struggle to confess his feelings of embarrassment and shame to Finch in the first place, a topic he was uncomfortable with from the beginning. It's even harder to then watch this be forced into conversation with Bailey just because Finch felt like having an ally moment. Yes, this is called out in the book as overstepping, but there's a disconnect in the way it's done that leaves me with the impression that the author doesn't actually understand why this was a mistake on Finch's part. Finch apologizes for white knighting and speaking over Jonah, but that doesn't address the way Jonah was forced into a situation where he had to choose to either defend his feelings of hurt from the musical, or to disregard that to avoid a fight leaving him with no option other than reassuring and comforting his white boyfriend that he is not racist.
Obviously this is an issue Bailey is responsible for as well, but it's strange to see when the explosive reaction to this was artificially caused by Finch inserting himself into the situation because of his own feelings of jealousy and attraction to Jonah.
Throughout the book we get to witness Jonah struggle with the increasing racial tensions between himself and Bailey. Although the audience can infer that there are probably other issues within their relationship if it means that this single problem can cause a blowup this big, the point of focus is solely on Bailey's privilege and racist biases. That's not a plot I'm opposed to, but it does feel odd to have this character of color flee from racism to the safety of another white boy. It's not an enjoyable experience to consider that Finch only gets the opportunity to potentially date Jonah if their relationship fails due to Jonah facing racism.
Beyond that the choices around race are often just... odd. There's some small moments that leave you questioning why something like this would even be included, such as Finch's friend, Lucy, complaining about her mother's orientalist home decoration and Finch thinking to himself that he likes the decorations and doesn't think it's questionable. Or a truly bizarre scene of a Black student complaining that she is always put into the role of the oppressor during debate club more so than her other mostly white club members and the teacher (who is also Black) explaining that she does this because... evil isn't black and white and did you know Obama caged children? With the idea seeming to be that "good people can be talked into doing evil things" a concept that doesn't make sense and doesn't actually address the issue of a Black girl feeling targeted in her role.
Most egregious of all in a way that is outlandishly bad is just... Nasir. Whatever the hell was going on with Nasir and whatever thought process was present when deciding to create his character. The last thing I want to see in my novel is representation where the sole Iranian-American male character is a caricature-like figure who is idiotic, obsessed with trying to get women, constantly copying AAVE, and somehow also racist? The most blatantly and openly racist character is a person of color?
In the span of a few pages Nasir grants us privilege of watching him:say the n-word for no reason I can tell, spit anti-Asian microaggressions at Jonah hinging on him assuming Asians are a monolith despite... him also being Asian? Oh, and also be racist against the Irish. The white male character faces anti-Irish racism from a character of color which sure is a Choice to make.
Nasir very much comes off like a character who was originally a white dudebro randomly racebent at the last second with a single line of Farsi thrown in to make sure the audience remember that he is not white. Something that in the process actually changes his character into its own racist stereotype of the Brown teen boy nobody likes, obsessed with pulling girls despite girls being disgusted by him, and poorly fitting in with his peers as he tries to hard through misusing slang. He successfully manages to not contribute a single thing to the plot other than allowing Finch to bond with another white character, Ari (who is given time, nuance, and character development unlike her schoolmate Nasir) over how stupid and embarrassing they find Nasir.
I just don't understand why the author would make this choice if I'm being honest.
I truly do believe that the author wrote Finch with a lot of love and care. His journey through gender, friendship, and family felt as if they came from a place that was deeply personal and I'm sure there are other nerdy white trans kids who will look at Finch and feel seen. But as a nerdy nonwhite trans person he just wasn't doing it for me.
Most of the character development felt rushed. The plot often slow where the most exciting part for me was actually the few times we were shown them debating. The debate tournament was by far the most compelling part of the novel which makes it feel odd that for a novel centered on debate there was... pretty much close to none in it.
I will say that I did think the way Finch's sexuality was handled was surprisingly interesting. The focus on his insistence on not being gay felt a bit forced to me, but the reveal in which you learn about his time of being evaluated as whether he was truly trans or not being heavily reliant on the idea that he likes girls and not guys was a really good reveal. I had expected the focus on his sexuality to just be something to add drama, but was impressed by how it was handled. Although it did make it even weirder how much Lucy kept insisting that Finch was gay throughout the novel... So, there were some positives!
I wish I could have found it funny, but there was only really two types of jokes throughout the entire novel: 1. Referencing some political event/person/concept to show how smart and well-informed the characters are (smart well-informed baby leftists who love history and yet somehow did not know that about the horrifying conditions under Obama's immigration policy) and 2. Some joke from tumblr. Doesn't matter which one. Gamer girl bathwater here, a John Mulaney quote there, maybe if things get spicy a whole meme will even appear!Nasir, deer sweet Nasir, did actually make me laugh at the quote "On God, we gonna get you laid tonight!" A laugh that felt wholly undeserved considering it's kinda just... a popular meme
As far as trans representation goes, there's little to complain about. Sure, it feels a bit weird to not really have it brought up in any serious discussion the depths of privilege Finch experiences by having early access to transition care and how this is barred to most trans people especially poor trans people of color. But it was, like, fine? I'm sure there is some white transmasc teen who sleeps with an "I'm With Her" pin under their pillow right next to their commemorative antifa membership brick who will fall head over heels for Finch and all that he has to offer, but he just didn't do it for me.
Overall, it was an unremarkable novel that felt perfectly tailored to appeal to an audience who in theory wants to read representation and anti-racist narratives, but only the kinds that are easily digestible within the scope of their own white normative worldview.
When I say that this is a book that may offer something of value to young trans people, I do mean young white trans people. Yes, there are characters of color within the novel including Jonah, the main love interest, however, the addition of a few throwaway lines of Tagalog and references to food does not equal a well-written and nuanced Filipino character. Jonah falls within the same trap many white queer authors struggle with of fulfilling the role of the obligatory love interest of color. What are his interests outside of his current white boyfriend and future white boyfriend? Who's to say. We know that he's beautiful and smart and charismatic because the love interest of color will always embody these traits, but otherwise we're offered little other than some references to him liking Jughead from Riverdale or the fact that he's a teenager who somehow still owns a Hamilton sweatshirt.
Plots where the main character is in love with someone who is already in a relationship are not rare, but there's something disconcerting with the way it is set up for the two white rivals. Continuing on the theme of not knowing much about Jonah, we hear little of the actual details of his relationship or the flaws that are within it other than the problem of racism.
Obviously this is an issue Bailey is responsible for as well, but it's strange to see when the explosive reaction to this was artificially caused by Finch inserting himself into the situation because of his own feelings of jealousy and attraction to Jonah.
Throughout the book we get to witness Jonah struggle with the increasing racial tensions between himself and Bailey. Although the audience can infer that there are probably other issues within their relationship if it means that this single problem can cause a blowup this big, the point of focus is solely on Bailey's privilege and racist biases. That's not a plot I'm opposed to, but it does feel odd to have this character of color flee from racism to the safety of another white boy. It's not an enjoyable experience to consider that Finch only gets the opportunity to potentially date Jonah if their relationship fails due to Jonah facing racism.
Beyond that the choices around race are often just... odd. There's some small moments that leave you questioning why something like this would even be included, such as Finch's friend, Lucy, complaining about her mother's orientalist home decoration and Finch thinking to himself that he likes the decorations and doesn't think it's questionable. Or a truly bizarre scene of a Black student complaining that she is always put into the role of the oppressor during debate club more so than her other mostly white club members and the teacher (who is also Black) explaining that she does this because... evil isn't black and white and did you know Obama caged children? With the idea seeming to be that "good people can be talked into doing evil things" a concept that doesn't make sense and doesn't actually address the issue of a Black girl feeling targeted in her role.
Most egregious of all in a way that is outlandishly bad is just... Nasir. Whatever the hell was going on with Nasir and whatever thought process was present when deciding to create his character. The last thing I want to see in my novel is representation where the sole Iranian-American male character is a caricature-like figure who is idiotic, obsessed with trying to get women, constantly copying AAVE, and somehow also racist? The most blatantly and openly racist character is a person of color?
In the span of a few pages Nasir grants us privilege of watching him:
Nasir very much comes off like a character who was originally a white dudebro randomly racebent at the last second with a single line of Farsi thrown in to make sure the audience remember that he is not white. Something that in the process actually changes his character into its own racist stereotype of the Brown teen boy nobody likes, obsessed with pulling girls despite girls being disgusted by him, and poorly fitting in with his peers as he tries to hard through misusing slang. He successfully manages to not contribute a single thing to the plot other than allowing Finch to bond with another white character, Ari (who is given time, nuance, and character development unlike her schoolmate Nasir) over how stupid and embarrassing they find Nasir.
I just don't understand why the author would make this choice if I'm being honest.
I truly do believe that the author wrote Finch with a lot of love and care. His journey through gender, friendship, and family felt as if they came from a place that was deeply personal and I'm sure there are other nerdy white trans kids who will look at Finch and feel seen. But as a nerdy nonwhite trans person he just wasn't doing it for me.
Most of the character development felt rushed. The plot often slow where the most exciting part for me was actually the few times we were shown them debating. The debate tournament was by far the most compelling part of the novel which makes it feel odd that for a novel centered on debate there was... pretty much close to none in it.
I will say that I did think the way Finch's sexuality was handled was surprisingly interesting. The focus on his insistence on not being gay felt a bit forced to me, but the reveal in which
I wish I could have found it funny, but there was only really two types of jokes throughout the entire novel: 1. Referencing some political event/person/concept to show how smart and well-informed the characters are (smart well-informed baby leftists who love history and yet somehow did not know that about the horrifying conditions under Obama's immigration policy) and 2. Some joke from tumblr. Doesn't matter which one. Gamer girl bathwater here, a John Mulaney quote there, maybe if things get spicy a whole meme will even appear!
As far as trans representation goes, there's little to complain about. Sure, it feels a bit weird to not really have it brought up in any serious discussion the depths of privilege Finch experiences by having early access to transition care and how this is barred to most trans people especially poor trans people of color. But it was, like, fine? I'm sure there is some white transmasc teen who sleeps with an "I'm With Her" pin under their pillow right next to their commemorative antifa membership brick who will fall head over heels for Finch and all that he has to offer, but he just didn't do it for me.
Overall, it was an unremarkable novel that felt perfectly tailored to appeal to an audience who in theory wants to read representation and anti-racist narratives, but only the kinds that are easily digestible within the scope of their own white normative worldview.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism and Transphobia
Minor: Misogyny
sappho's review
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
2.5
What a strange book! What an odd experience! I think if you liked RWRB you will enjoy this and if you couldn’t stand it then you should move a little to the left.
I enjoyed that book mostly and I enjoyed this book.. ish? I think? I don’t know I feel like this will age very strangely? With all the references toContrapoints and Timothee Chalamet and Lindsay Ellis and Riverdale. That sure places this at a very specific point in time! The Timothee Chalamet bit made me fucking scream tho.
I feel like the Ari in this narrative. Like I’m someone who’s always been a little bit inspired by the way this author talks about transness and his various anxieties and OCPD and weird sense of humor and taste in literature. And. I feel really weird about it! Because this is a really weird book!
Why was Nasir like that.Why does the South Asian character say the n word, make Asian flush jokes at Jonah, and also hate the Irish, all in the same scene. Was he racebent at the last minute because that's the only explanation I can think of for why he's like that.
I was an egged teen in debate club and I hated it so so so much but I was ready to be compelled by this familiar world and see a hopeful side of it. Is it ridiculous to have wanted more nitty-gritty debate lore? Some of the politics ends up very muddled (you read the economist. you wear a Hamilton hoodie. you want to join Antifa. you don't even know Obama put kids in cages too. mic drop moment. are there any bezos/gates critiques to be found amongst the plethora of neutral references to them existing. isn't the book about politics? why is it so vague when the 2019-isms are so specific)
I think there are some useful lessons here, like. Going to an in-state college isn't the end of the world. Don't white knight on behalf of the racism your friends experience (although jonah stood up to bailey because of finch and like finch and jonah still got together in the end so I'm not really sure how sharp a point that ends up being??? like it would be so easy to interpret that as still being okay in the end god. okay)
But the point of the book being debate... what exactly are we supposed to take away from this? It glossed over any comparable debates like gay marriage (briefly mentioned) or ... I don't think it mentioned anything to do with racism like when students have to debate like. The civil war.
AND LETS GET INTO THE DISCUSSION OF KIDS IN CAGES BECAUSE WHAT POINT DO YOU WANT US TO DRAW FROM THAT SCENE
I'd be lying if I said people saying this is reskinned South Park fanfiction aren't giving me "what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament" vibes but why else would the creators be in the acknowledgements section. What an absolutely insane choice for a nominally leftist work.
I don't know. It was insane in a way that made me laugh in that I couldn't believe some of these things got onto paper. So that's something. I keep lowering my rating when I look at other books I've reviewed and get to thinking "do I REALLY want to rate BSN higher than this? does it REALLY deserve it more?" and coming back and dropping more quarter stars.
I enjoyed that book mostly and I enjoyed this book.. ish? I think? I don’t know I feel like this will age very strangely? With all the references to
I feel like the Ari in this narrative. Like I’m someone who’s always been a little bit inspired by the way this author talks about transness and his various anxieties and OCPD and weird sense of humor and taste in literature. And. I feel really weird about it! Because this is a really weird book!
Why was Nasir like that.
I was an egged teen in debate club and I hated it so so so much but I was ready to be compelled by this familiar world and see a hopeful side of it. Is it ridiculous to have wanted more nitty-gritty debate lore? Some of the politics ends up very muddled
I think there are some useful lessons here, like.
But the point of the book being debate... what exactly are we supposed to take away from this? It glossed over any comparable debates like gay marriage (briefly mentioned) or ... I don't think it mentioned anything to do with racism like when students have to debate like. The civil war.
AND LETS GET INTO THE DISCUSSION OF KIDS IN CAGES BECAUSE WHAT POINT DO YOU WANT US TO DRAW FROM THAT SCENE
I'd be lying if I said people saying this is reskinned South Park fanfiction aren't giving me "what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament" vibes but why else would the creators be in the acknowledgements section. What an absolutely insane choice for a nominally leftist work.
I don't know. It was insane in a way that made me laugh in that I couldn't believe some of these things got onto paper. So that's something. I keep lowering my rating when I look at other books I've reviewed and get to thinking "do I REALLY want to rate BSN higher than this? does it REALLY deserve it more?" and coming back and dropping more quarter stars.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism and Transphobia
Moderate: Racial slurs
perpetualpages's review
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
CWs: racism; some depictions of toxic relationships; gender dysphoria, misgendering, and transphobia; references to suicidal ideation; references to alcoholism; brief descriptions of vomit; and depictions of anxiety.
Both Sides Now is pitched as being a queer/trans achillean take on Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller, with plenty of banter for fans of John Green and Casey McQuiston to enjoy, and I think that's pretty spot on! This is a really enjoyable contemporary romance and coming of age story that is so easy to fly through. It's one of those books where you tell yourself you're going to read just one more chapter, and in no time at all you find yourself 100 pages further in than you planned.
As a trans person myself, I find myself grateful for stories like Both Sides Now that center trans characters with a focus on coming of age themes where realizing and/or articulating transness isn't necessarily the point of the story. When you hear that a contemporary YA story has a trans protagonist, a lot of readers will assume that the entire plotline is *about* coming out, because the idea that coming out is the most important or most interesting part of being trans has been reinforced to us through so much popular media. But in this case, Finch has already come into his transness before the story begins. He knows he's trans, and everyone around him knows that he's trans. That distinction matters, because trans readers, especially, deserve coming of age stories that celebrate characters who are still trying to figure out themselves or figure out what they want to do in life, and to have their transness already be a given in that equation.
Besides that, my favorite thing about this story is probably the characters and the relationship dynamics. All of the characters are distinctive, they have strong personalities and voices, and they're written with so much heart. The quippy banter is definitely a highlight for me in this story, because it flows well, it's genuinely funny, and it brings some much-needed levity to the narrative as well. There are definitely intense things happening throughout the story—transphobia, family issues, monetary insecurity, stressing about college—but those issues feel more approachable because they're offset by the wonderful found family and support system that Finch has around him.
I also appreciate the nuanced exploration of how Finch is coming to understand that gender and sexuality are two completely separate things that deserve to be explored in their own right. In Finch's experience, he had assumed that once he figured out his transness, his sexuality wouldn't even be a question. As a boy, he would be sexually and romantically interested in girls, "like all the other boys." And while straight trans men certainly exist and are valid, that isn't everyone's experience. Gender does not dictate nor define attraction and vice versa. There's no such thing as a sexuality being inherently and irrevocably tied to one set gender or gender expression. I appreciate the space this story gives Finch to not only challenge what is perhaps his internalized homophobia, but to expand how he understands himself and to name the barriers he's using to keep himself from being the person he truly is.
Again, it kind of ties back into how discovering transness isn't the be-all-end-all of our emotional and personal journeys. There are so many more ways that trans people can grow and change outside of their gender, and I appreciate that this story honors that.
I also think the story does justice to the experience of being on a high school debate team. Personally, my high school didn't have a debate team and it's not something that I have personal experience with, but I appreciate that it's central part of the book and not just the hook for the premise. There are multiple debating scenes and a really great look at the preparation process, debate practices, how debates work, the rules of debating, and what goes in to making each case. As someone who has never had that experience, I feel like I'm walking away from this book knowing so much more about it and feeling confident in that knowledge, which is definitely a plus!
All that said, I did have a couple of minor problems with the story.
My first note is that I wish the story did a more consistent job of acknowledging privilege. As a white trans boy, Finch still holds some relative privilege, even though he is marginalized in his transness and his queerness and despite the fact that his family has money problems that he often has to take into consideration. There's still the privilege of Finch being a binary trans boy who passes almost 100% of the time and is consistently read as "male." There's the privilege of having access to medical transition—whether it be hormone blockers, testosterone, or surgery. There's even the privilege of being able to have the correct name and gender marker on his legal documents and in the school system. While the narration does occasionally give space to name the hardships Finch's friends are going through that he doesn't necessarily have to confront himself (racism, colorism, homophobia, etc.), I wish there was more self-awareness of Finch's privilege as a white trans boy who passes.
And that kind of ties into the main conflict of the story: Finch being forced to formally debate trans rights in a public forum for a national title. I think it's important to have the discussion about how politics are inherently personal and also how the academic debate system can actively harm or alienate marginalized participants by mandating that they argue against their own humanity—which could be an entire debate in and of itself. My problem with this specific conflict is that Finch has never given a second thought to how this very same moral conflict might effect other marginalized debaters until it effects him specifically. To its credit, the story mentions how queer debaters, for instance, may have had to debate marriage equality or queer rights in past, or how debaters who are immigrants may have had to debate humanitarian issues or xenophobic legislation in the past.
It is definitely a discussion worth having. There is a significant emotional and energetic toll that is taken on marginalized people, especially, when we claim that "anyone can have an opinion" on what are considered to be "public politic ideologies" when they're actually deeply personal facets of people's lives and experiences that require an enormous amount of nuance that the casual outsider cannot access. But again, Finch has had the privilege of not being bothered or impacted by any other topic he's had to debate in the past, even topics that may have bothered his debate partner, Jonah, who is a queer Filipino-American student, or other marginalized students. But now that the topic at hand pertains to him, specifically, then it's considered to be one step too far for him. Obviously, things that effect us personally can act as a catalyst to mobilize us, and again the story does briefly acknowledge how this problem might impact other marginalized students, but I think it ties back into how Finch's passing privilege and white privilege has previously kept him from being able to see engage with these issues.
Ultimately, I do think the story builds to an empowering ending and sends a positive message about establishing boundaries for yourself and discovering what you're willing to fight for. And I will say that I think Finch does a good job of levying his white privilege towards the end, but at the same time, it's never acknowledged that that is what he's actually doing.
So there were definitely some unaddressed issues in this story that I, personally, think kept it from being the absolute best it could be. To have a story that centers this topic (publicly debating trans/queer rights) is risky, and there a lot of implications to that discussion that could be easily overlooked, and in the end I do think there were some perspectives that were left on the table.
But with that said, I still really enjoyed the story and I respect what it's trying to accomplish. It's a well-rounded, feel-good story that comes to a satisfying and powerful confusion, with a really sweet queer romance on the side. Overall, I had a good reading experience with it and I would absolutely read forthcoming books from this author in a heartbeat!
Both Sides Now is pitched as being a queer/trans achillean take on Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller, with plenty of banter for fans of John Green and Casey McQuiston to enjoy, and I think that's pretty spot on! This is a really enjoyable contemporary romance and coming of age story that is so easy to fly through. It's one of those books where you tell yourself you're going to read just one more chapter, and in no time at all you find yourself 100 pages further in than you planned.
As a trans person myself, I find myself grateful for stories like Both Sides Now that center trans characters with a focus on coming of age themes where realizing and/or articulating transness isn't necessarily the point of the story. When you hear that a contemporary YA story has a trans protagonist, a lot of readers will assume that the entire plotline is *about* coming out, because the idea that coming out is the most important or most interesting part of being trans has been reinforced to us through so much popular media. But in this case, Finch has already come into his transness before the story begins. He knows he's trans, and everyone around him knows that he's trans. That distinction matters, because trans readers, especially, deserve coming of age stories that celebrate characters who are still trying to figure out themselves or figure out what they want to do in life, and to have their transness already be a given in that equation.
Besides that, my favorite thing about this story is probably the characters and the relationship dynamics. All of the characters are distinctive, they have strong personalities and voices, and they're written with so much heart. The quippy banter is definitely a highlight for me in this story, because it flows well, it's genuinely funny, and it brings some much-needed levity to the narrative as well. There are definitely intense things happening throughout the story—transphobia, family issues, monetary insecurity, stressing about college—but those issues feel more approachable because they're offset by the wonderful found family and support system that Finch has around him.
I also appreciate the nuanced exploration of how Finch is coming to understand that gender and sexuality are two completely separate things that deserve to be explored in their own right. In Finch's experience, he had assumed that once he figured out his transness, his sexuality wouldn't even be a question. As a boy, he would be sexually and romantically interested in girls, "like all the other boys." And while straight trans men certainly exist and are valid, that isn't everyone's experience. Gender does not dictate nor define attraction and vice versa. There's no such thing as a sexuality being inherently and irrevocably tied to one set gender or gender expression. I appreciate the space this story gives Finch to not only challenge what is perhaps his internalized homophobia, but to expand how he understands himself and to name the barriers he's using to keep himself from being the person he truly is.
Again, it kind of ties back into how discovering transness isn't the be-all-end-all of our emotional and personal journeys. There are so many more ways that trans people can grow and change outside of their gender, and I appreciate that this story honors that.
I also think the story does justice to the experience of being on a high school debate team. Personally, my high school didn't have a debate team and it's not something that I have personal experience with, but I appreciate that it's central part of the book and not just the hook for the premise. There are multiple debating scenes and a really great look at the preparation process, debate practices, how debates work, the rules of debating, and what goes in to making each case. As someone who has never had that experience, I feel like I'm walking away from this book knowing so much more about it and feeling confident in that knowledge, which is definitely a plus!
All that said, I did have a couple of minor problems with the story.
My first note is that I wish the story did a more consistent job of acknowledging privilege. As a white trans boy, Finch still holds some relative privilege, even though he is marginalized in his transness and his queerness and despite the fact that his family has money problems that he often has to take into consideration. There's still the privilege of Finch being a binary trans boy who passes almost 100% of the time and is consistently read as "male." There's the privilege of having access to medical transition—whether it be hormone blockers, testosterone, or surgery. There's even the privilege of being able to have the correct name and gender marker on his legal documents and in the school system. While the narration does occasionally give space to name the hardships Finch's friends are going through that he doesn't necessarily have to confront himself (racism, colorism, homophobia, etc.), I wish there was more self-awareness of Finch's privilege as a white trans boy who passes.
And that kind of ties into the main conflict of the story: Finch being forced to formally debate trans rights in a public forum for a national title. I think it's important to have the discussion about how politics are inherently personal and also how the academic debate system can actively harm or alienate marginalized participants by mandating that they argue against their own humanity—which could be an entire debate in and of itself. My problem with this specific conflict is that Finch has never given a second thought to how this very same moral conflict might effect other marginalized debaters until it effects him specifically. To its credit, the story mentions how queer debaters, for instance, may have had to debate marriage equality or queer rights in past, or how debaters who are immigrants may have had to debate humanitarian issues or xenophobic legislation in the past.
It is definitely a discussion worth having. There is a significant emotional and energetic toll that is taken on marginalized people, especially, when we claim that "anyone can have an opinion" on what are considered to be "public politic ideologies" when they're actually deeply personal facets of people's lives and experiences that require an enormous amount of nuance that the casual outsider cannot access. But again, Finch has had the privilege of not being bothered or impacted by any other topic he's had to debate in the past, even topics that may have bothered his debate partner, Jonah, who is a queer Filipino-American student, or other marginalized students. But now that the topic at hand pertains to him, specifically, then it's considered to be one step too far for him. Obviously, things that effect us personally can act as a catalyst to mobilize us, and again the story does briefly acknowledge how this problem might impact other marginalized students, but I think it ties back into how Finch's passing privilege and white privilege has previously kept him from being able to see engage with these issues.
Ultimately, I do think the story builds to an empowering ending and sends a positive message about establishing boundaries for yourself and discovering what you're willing to fight for. And I will say that I think Finch does a good job of levying his white privilege towards the end, but at the same time, it's never acknowledged that that is what he's actually doing.
So there were definitely some unaddressed issues in this story that I, personally, think kept it from being the absolute best it could be. To have a story that centers this topic (publicly debating trans/queer rights) is risky, and there a lot of implications to that discussion that could be easily overlooked, and in the end I do think there were some perspectives that were left on the table.
But with that said, I still really enjoyed the story and I respect what it's trying to accomplish. It's a well-rounded, feel-good story that comes to a satisfying and powerful confusion, with a really sweet queer romance on the side. Overall, I had a good reading experience with it and I would absolutely read forthcoming books from this author in a heartbeat!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia and Dysphoria
Moderate: Mental illness, Racism, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Alcoholism, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
foreverinastory's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Really disappointed in the lack of awareness for multi-spectrum attraction in this, but I did enjoy it regardless.
Rep: Poor trans male MC with anxiety, Filipino gay male love interest, lesbian side character, Black female side character, Jewish questioning female side character.
CWs: Alcohol consumption by adults and minors, dysphoria, mental illness (anxiety), outing, panic attacks/disorders, transphobia, vomit, antisemitism, racism, alcoholism (MC's father).
Rep: Poor trans male MC with anxiety, Filipino gay male love interest, lesbian side character, Black female side character, Jewish questioning female side character.
CWs: Alcohol consumption by adults and minors, dysphoria, mental illness (anxiety), outing, panic attacks/disorders, transphobia, vomit, antisemitism, racism, alcoholism (MC's father).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, Vomit, Outing, Alcohol, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Alcoholism, Racism, and Antisemitism
abrianna_reads's review
challenging
emotional
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism and Transphobia
patandbooks's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Thank you to Penguin Teen for sending me an eARC through Netgalley!
This story is following Finch Kelly who dreams of going to college in DC. In order to do so, he and his debate partner Jonah, need to win the National Speech & Debate Tournament. However, the final debate topic is trans rights which means he might have to debate against his own rights.
This books has amazing friendships that give me the warm fuzzies. The characters all feel so real in their flaws and strengths. I also appreciated the great Filipino representation in Jonah's character.
This story is following Finch Kelly who dreams of going to college in DC. In order to do so, he and his debate partner Jonah, need to win the National Speech & Debate Tournament. However, the final debate topic is trans rights which means he might have to debate against his own rights.
This books has amazing friendships that give me the warm fuzzies. The characters all feel so real in their flaws and strengths. I also appreciated the great Filipino representation in Jonah's character.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Emotional abuse, and Racism