Reviews with content warning for Vomit - Both Sides Now

This book is emotional and plot-driven. It is a book with characters that actually feel like teenagers - teenagers who are imperfect humans, occasionally self-centered, self-righteous, and irritating. People who make mistakes even when they're trying their best.

That said, it is a white queer book. Aside from our love interest, the non-white characters don't really have as much depth as the white characters. And although I am happy to bash the anti-Asian racism that is the entire premise of Thourghly Modern Millie any day of the week, alluding to the racism of the show that will likely still have thousands of high school productions this year is not a stand-in for actually looking at the way race is impacting the people in the narrative here. This novel can look at the glaring and obvious examples of racism, but it doesn't handle the topic of race with any real nuance.

I would also say as someone who works in politics - the dream of a high schooler to move to DC, become a member of congress, and change the world is relatable; but the constant dismissal of other theories of change, of work that makes a difference in our communities everyday, and the way that Finch's stubbornness caused them to look down on doing actual political work was disappointing at best. It presents a narrative that I think harms teenagers' ability to see themselves taking action.

I think this is a book that tries. It could have been better. At its core this is a friends-to-lovers YA romance that feels a bit rushed in places. But the first-person POV let's us really dig into the feelings and complicated relationships of a support system that exists even when you don't feel like you have a lot of support.

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greenlivingaudioworm's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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daycia's review

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emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

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anniereads221's review

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1.0

Dont read this

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xeniba's review

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emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

I really loved this. The characters had depth and were well-rounded, even the secondary ones. Finch and Jonah's relationship was precious and I just want to root for them forever. I especially loved how they resolved the conflict at the final debate. Adding this to my reread list.

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betweentheshelves's review

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emotional fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Honestly, I'm not quite sure what to think of this book. For me, it was a pretty quick read and the premise is really interesting. However, there is A LOT going on in this book, and the author doesn't necessarily handle everything well. It almost felt like the author wanted to throw as many hot button topics as he could in this book, which mean that a lot of them (especially issues about race) fell through the cracks.

There are a lot of other reviews on here that talk about these issues better than I can, so definitely look them up! If you decide to pick this up, know going in that there's a lot of transphobia, racism, and homophobia. Proceed with caution!

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perpetualpages's review

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative lighthearted reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

CWs: racism; some depictions of toxic relationships; gender dysphoria, misgendering, and transphobia; references to suicidal ideation; references to alcoholism; brief descriptions of vomit; and depictions of anxiety.

Both Sides Now is pitched as being a queer/trans achillean take on Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller, with plenty of banter for fans of John Green and Casey McQuiston to enjoy, and I think that's pretty spot on! This is a really enjoyable contemporary romance and coming of age story that is so easy to fly through. It's one of those books where you tell yourself you're going to read just one more chapter, and in no time at all you find yourself 100 pages further in than you planned.

As a trans person myself, I find myself grateful for stories like Both Sides Now that center trans characters with a focus on coming of age themes where realizing and/or articulating transness isn't necessarily the point of the story. When you hear that a contemporary YA story has a trans protagonist, a lot of readers will assume that the entire plotline is *about* coming out, because the idea that coming out is the most important or most interesting part of being trans has been reinforced to us through so much popular media. But in this case, Finch has already come into his transness before the story begins. He knows he's trans, and everyone around him knows that he's trans. That distinction matters, because trans readers, especially, deserve coming of age stories that celebrate characters who are still trying to figure out themselves or figure out what they want to do in life, and to have their transness already be a given in that equation.

Besides that, my favorite thing about this story is probably the characters and the relationship dynamics. All of the characters are distinctive, they have strong personalities and voices, and they're written with so much heart. The quippy banter is definitely a highlight for me in this story, because it flows well, it's genuinely funny, and it brings some much-needed levity to the narrative as well. There are definitely intense things happening throughout the story—transphobia, family issues, monetary insecurity, stressing about college—but those issues feel more approachable because they're offset by the wonderful found family and support system that Finch has around him.

I also appreciate the nuanced exploration of how Finch is coming to understand that gender and sexuality are two completely separate things that deserve to be explored in their own right. In Finch's experience, he had assumed that once he figured out his transness, his sexuality wouldn't even be a question. As a boy, he would be sexually and romantically interested in girls, "like all the other boys." And while straight trans men certainly exist and are valid, that isn't everyone's experience. Gender does not dictate nor define attraction and vice versa. There's no such thing as a sexuality being inherently and irrevocably tied to one set gender or gender expression. I appreciate the space this story gives Finch to not only challenge what is perhaps his internalized homophobia, but to expand how he understands himself and to name the barriers he's using to keep himself from being the person he truly is.

Again, it kind of ties back into how discovering transness isn't the be-all-end-all of our emotional and personal journeys. There are so many more ways that trans people can grow and change outside of their gender, and I appreciate that this story honors that.

I also think the story does justice to the experience of being on a high school debate team. Personally, my high school didn't have a debate team and it's not something that I have personal experience with, but I appreciate that it's central part of the book and not just the hook for the premise. There are multiple debating scenes and a really great look at the preparation process, debate practices, how debates work, the rules of debating, and what goes in to making each case. As someone who has never had that experience, I feel like I'm walking away from this book knowing so much more about it and feeling confident in that knowledge, which is definitely a plus!

All that said, I did have a couple of minor problems with the story.

My first note is that I wish the story did a more consistent job of acknowledging privilege. As a white trans boy, Finch still holds some relative privilege, even though he is marginalized in his transness and his queerness and despite the fact that his family has money problems that he often has to take into consideration. There's still the privilege of Finch being a binary trans boy who passes almost 100% of the time and is consistently read as "male." There's the privilege of having access to medical transition—whether it be hormone blockers, testosterone, or surgery. There's even the privilege of being able to have the correct name and gender marker on his legal documents and in the school system. While the narration does occasionally give space to name the hardships Finch's friends are going through that he doesn't necessarily have to confront himself (racism, colorism, homophobia, etc.), I wish there was more self-awareness of Finch's privilege as a white trans boy who passes.

And that kind of ties into the main conflict of the story: Finch being forced to formally debate trans rights in a public forum for a national title. I think it's important to have the discussion about how politics are inherently personal and also how the academic debate system can actively harm or alienate marginalized participants by mandating that they argue against their own humanity—which could be an entire debate in and of itself. My problem with this specific conflict is that Finch has never given a second thought to how this very same moral conflict might effect other marginalized debaters until it effects him specifically. To its credit, the story mentions how queer debaters, for instance, may have had to debate marriage equality or queer rights in past, or how debaters who are immigrants may have had to debate humanitarian issues or xenophobic legislation in the past.

It is definitely a discussion worth having. There is a significant emotional and energetic toll that is taken on marginalized people, especially, when we claim that "anyone can have an opinion" on what are considered to be "public politic ideologies" when they're actually deeply personal facets of people's lives and experiences that require an enormous amount of nuance that the casual outsider cannot access. But again, Finch has had the privilege of not being bothered or impacted by any other topic he's had to debate in the past, even topics that may have bothered his debate partner, Jonah, who is a queer Filipino-American student, or other marginalized students. But now that the topic at hand pertains to him, specifically, then it's considered to be one step too far for him. Obviously, things that effect us personally can act as a catalyst to mobilize us, and again the story does briefly acknowledge how this problem might impact other marginalized students, but I think it ties back into how Finch's passing privilege and white privilege has previously kept him from being able to see engage with these issues.

Ultimately, I do think the story builds to an empowering ending and sends a positive message about establishing boundaries for yourself and discovering what you're willing to fight for. And I will say that I think Finch does a good job of levying his white privilege towards the end, but at the same time, it's never acknowledged that that is what he's actually doing.

So there were definitely some unaddressed issues in this story that I, personally, think kept it from being the absolute best it could be. To have a story that centers this topic (publicly debating trans/queer rights) is risky, and there a lot of implications to that discussion that could be easily overlooked, and in the end I do think there were some perspectives that were left on the table.

But with that said, I still really enjoyed the story and I respect what it's trying to accomplish. It's a well-rounded, feel-good story that comes to a satisfying and powerful confusion, with a really sweet queer romance on the side. Overall, I had a good reading experience with it and I would absolutely read forthcoming books from this author in a heartbeat!

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jenny_librarian's review

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emotional inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

I received a copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.

It's both a hard-hitting and uplifting book. It hits where few other books about trans characters do, like how slow getting through a second puberty is or how painful waiting for surgery can be on a daily basis. There are many small instances of dysphoria that will make cis people understand just how debilitating it can be. A big part of Finch's anxiety seems to stem from his worry about being misgendered and not passing, and it takes multiple interventions from multiple people to get it through his head that he's worth it.

I love how supportive his friends are throughout the book and how nobody questions his identity or misgenders him (not even his parents). It's the classic thing we see in trans stories and it's nice to read a book where that is not an issue.

I was hoping for an aro (or at least ace) character, but that's not where it went. Contrarily to Felix Ever After, though, I don't feel like this book diminished any of the other relationships. It's not that Finch doesn't feel worth it until he's with someone romantically, it's just that his body doesn't feel safe enough to let himself be attracted to someone else that way. And I think it's an important distinction that - while just as ground-breaking - Kacen Callender didn't manage to show in their book.

The depiction of poverty (to that extent) isn't pictured all that much in YA, and I appreciated the contrast between Finch's family life and his friends. His sibling relationship with Ruby was very well depicted too. I like that his parents didn't get a redemption arc. It made things more realistic and showed how the other people in his life came through in ways they couldn't.

I'm still waiting for that triple A threat story (Agender/Aromantic/Asexual), or any kind of trans or gender non-conforming aroace book, but this was a pretty good read to wait with.

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