reigna's review against another edition
3.0
a brave and compelling story, but it often jumps timelines or dives into anecdotes within anecdotes that sometimes don't even serve to illustrate anything, and a lot of use of repetition, which worked well at first but soon grew to be tiresome and grating. still, it was an emotional journey i appreciated
curiousmustard's review against another edition
5.0
I can’t get over how beautifully written this is, especially considering the subject matter. I could (terrifyingly) see myself so easily in the authors shoes and at the end felt relief that I’ve never been in an abusive relationship like she went through.
I think it’s an important book to read, especially for women. I was shocked at how dismissive so many people were in her life and I’d like to think after reading this, I’d be a better advocate for someone going through something similar.
I think it’s an important book to read, especially for women. I was shocked at how dismissive so many people were in her life and I’d like to think after reading this, I’d be a better advocate for someone going through something similar.
mklein319's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Misogyny
sunnyisreading's review against another edition
4.0
This memoir left me gut-punched. Can you be incredibly proud of someone you don’t even know and isn’t even in your community? I feel such pride and so much love towards Kelly. She is an incredible author and story teller. She took the trauma she experienced and grew up in and somehow told her story with so much grace and care.
Kelly was constantly abused by nearly every man in her life as well as her mother. Some of the abuse may even seem more subtle to some folks, and she shows the nuance of abusive parents/partners. They will drop everything and pick her up when she’s having a roommate crisis, however her mother is physically abusive and her father doesn’t believe she’s being abused nearly the entire book and hardly even communicates with her ever.
The author writes in such a way that you can almost feel where in her life she started to realize that she is not being treated right. The timeline jumps around A LOT and for that reason I had a little bit of a hard time following now and again.
I hope her and her son have so much peace and joy for the rest of their days.
Kelly was constantly abused by nearly every man in her life as well as her mother. Some of the abuse may even seem more subtle to some folks, and she shows the nuance of abusive parents/partners. They will drop everything and pick her up when she’s having a roommate crisis, however her mother is physically abusive and her father doesn’t believe she’s being abused nearly the entire book and hardly even communicates with her ever.
The author writes in such a way that you can almost feel where in her life she started to realize that she is not being treated right. The timeline jumps around A LOT and for that reason I had a little bit of a hard time following now and again.
I hope her and her son have so much peace and joy for the rest of their days.
soulkissed2003's review against another edition
2.0
As a survivor childhood abuse, and of an abusive first marriage, I sometimes find healing in either sharing my own story or hearing the stories of other survivors. I have to be careful, though, because sometimes the stories hit too close to home, and can be upsetting and triggering.
If you want to understand the dynamics of an abusive domestic relationship, or if you've ever wondered, "Why does she STAY with him? Why doesn't she just LEAVE?" this book -- and Kelly's personal story -- will help you understand the complex dynamics and why it isn't that easy. If you have been in an abusive, manipulative relationship you may find this too painful to read, or you may find it therapeutic.
If you want to understand the dynamics of an abusive domestic relationship, or if you've ever wondered, "Why does she STAY with him? Why doesn't she just LEAVE?" this book -- and Kelly's personal story -- will help you understand the complex dynamics and why it isn't that easy. If you have been in an abusive, manipulative relationship you may find this too painful to read, or you may find it therapeutic.
readitall199's review against another edition
While reading this I wondered, where is the author’s rage at her husband? How can any one moment (amongst so many terrorizing ones) ever lead to so many pages of her love and devotion to him? I guess their romance did not begin violent, but he also didn’t tell her about his cheating or DUI. How can she trust him at all- let alone with her son?
And in contrast from the very beginning, she is an aware that she is and continues to be unhappy. Parts of this novel read like a love letter to him, after the fact. I suppose in this way, it is a true account of a so-called “battered woman.”
The denial is very very strong. In one scene they are out in a restaurant and he had 3 beers and they return home to her mother’s home where they are staying in the basement and she goes to the fridge to throw out Caleb’s beers into the yard- in this action shows she knows his drinking is problematic but she calls him a “functioning” alcoholic...
And in contrast from the very beginning, she is an aware that she is and continues to be unhappy. Parts of this novel read like a love letter to him, after the fact. I suppose in this way, it is a true account of a so-called “battered woman.”
The denial is very very strong. In one scene they are out in a restaurant and he had 3 beers and they return home to her mother’s home where they are staying in the basement and she goes to the fridge to throw out Caleb’s beers into the yard- in this action shows she knows his drinking is problematic but she calls him a “functioning” alcoholic...
jonetta's review against another edition
4.0
Kelly Sundberg is a survivor of domestic violence. I’m starting here because it wasn’t always clear to the author that she was experiencing domestic abuse.
Her story begins near the end and then reaches back into the past to provide context for her state of mind and how she came to be and stay in a violent relationship. Sundberg’s early life is much more complex than the simplistic lifestyle she describes. So much goes unsaid and broils underneath the surface within her family, network of friends, co-workers and, later, her in-laws. She’s yet another highly educated woman who you would think could not only recognize domestic abuse for what it was but also not tolerate it. But you must listen carefully as to how she eased into her situation and the complicity of so many others who were deaf to the subtleties of abuse.
I much admire Sundberg for sharing her story and hope it was cathartic as she gains so little in return for being this open. She holds nothing back, including her frailties and vulnerabilities. While it was sometimes difficult to follow the timeline, I appreciated that she told the story as her life’s puzzle occurred to and came together for her. And, she nor the narrator doesn’t over-dramatize the abusive moments, taking more care to share what she was thinking and feeling in those moments. Hers is an important and relevant story as I don’t believe she was ever a victim. She never gave up on herself. Andi Arndt narrated the story perfectly.
(I received a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an unbiased review)
Her story begins near the end and then reaches back into the past to provide context for her state of mind and how she came to be and stay in a violent relationship. Sundberg’s early life is much more complex than the simplistic lifestyle she describes. So much goes unsaid and broils underneath the surface within her family, network of friends, co-workers and, later, her in-laws. She’s yet another highly educated woman who you would think could not only recognize domestic abuse for what it was but also not tolerate it. But you must listen carefully as to how she eased into her situation and the complicity of so many others who were deaf to the subtleties of abuse.
I much admire Sundberg for sharing her story and hope it was cathartic as she gains so little in return for being this open. She holds nothing back, including her frailties and vulnerabilities. While it was sometimes difficult to follow the timeline, I appreciated that she told the story as her life’s puzzle occurred to and came together for her. And, she nor the narrator doesn’t over-dramatize the abusive moments, taking more care to share what she was thinking and feeling in those moments. Hers is an important and relevant story as I don’t believe she was ever a victim. She never gave up on herself. Andi Arndt narrated the story perfectly.
(I received a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an unbiased review)