Reviews

I usually rate books based on how much I thought about the book in between reading, and how much I looked forward to reading it again. This book made me think a lot, but I never quite looked forward to reading it. In fact, reading it was very uncomfortable. It's an unflinching autofiction memoir-novel based on Watkin's real life growing up in poverty surrounded by addiction, the details of which are uncomfortable to look directly at. But, I think, an important and meaningful discomfort to move through and witness.

The book itself is totally weird (in a good way?) -- one narrative takes place in Watkins present day, fleeing from marriage and motherhood for a variety of reasons that largely seem to come down to unresolved PTSD. Another narrative interspersed between chapters of present day are transcriptions of Watkins' mother's letters written between 1968 and 1976 to her cousin, chronically backwards in time. A third narrative, which did not weave through the novel but rather was a quick 20-page detour, was a quick biography of Watkins' father's time in the Manson Family cult. So -- weird! Quickly shifting in a not always easy to follow way, jumping all over the place and raw with so much feeling and desperation and anger on every page.

I'm also taking with me a quote that I keep thinking about, which I think is a real quote from Watkins' real father, said while in remission from cancer (a few months before his early death):

"I think I have a really good chance of having a really good life."

That's how I'm trying to feel, too.

laurenexploresbooks's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

Content Warnings

gayfrogg143's review against another edition

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i really enjoyed reading this book it was very very well written. hippie mentality, Manson Family lore, postpartum, motherhood, vagina teeth, addiction, drugs, pills, weed, being high, getting high, staying high, being in love, the desert, running away, staying away, dirt, hot springs, Joshua Tree, Reno, Las Vegas, Nevada, Utah, death, dead friends, friends, family

sarakuhn's review against another edition

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challenging reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

tara3117's review against another edition

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dark funny sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

Like everyone here, I was pulled to this book by the title. It was nominated for a ton of awards.

Nothing that happens in this book is good. The people aren't good. Any of them. Maybe Theo, but he's so minor. He's probably a good guy. The narrator is absolute garbage when faced with any type of possibility. We have no idea where she gets money from. Book royalties maybe? I don't know. None of this woman's lifestyle makes any sense to me. The tag is that it's about "one woman's reckoning with marriage, work, sex, and motherhood." But she doesn't reckon with anything. She literally walks away from all of it except sex. There is no reckoning. She doesn't even make decisions with any kind of forethought whatsoever. She's a trainwreck and I feel misled.

There is so much borrowing from her parents' stories. She spends way too long retelling her dad's story, which isn't relevant at all except that it's salatious and mostly true. She spends too long retelling her mom's letter chronologically backwards, so when people pop up later, you vaguely remember that they end up being garbage later on, but when she's 11, they're cute. The only thing the letters serve is to set the scene of how messed up Claire is because her mom is. If anything, this book is about generational trauma, drugs and sex and not about marriage, work or motherhood at all. All of the back story basically tells you that this girl's trauma (of having a dead dad and a poor, drug-addicted mom) is what makes her interesting.

However, the writing is really good. The dialogue is pretty and realistic. The descriptions are beautiful. So that's where it's unfortunate. The author can write a fantastic sentence. She cannot write a story.

Content Warnings

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