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shansometimes's reviews
351 reviews
Depression & Other Magic Tricks by Sabrina Benaim
Like a whole lot of other people, my introduction to Sabrina Benaim's poetry was her performance of "Explaining My Depression to My Mother," which went viral in 2017. It has stuck with me and still affects me all these years later. It's included in DEPRESSION & OTHER MAGIC TRICKS, along with other resonating poems about breakups, loneliness, and mental health. I favored the ones about mental health, and I love Benaim's ability to evoke emotion and explain—in very few words—feelings and experiences that are very hard to describe.
I'm not always a fan of certain modern poetry styles, but I appreciate that Benaim brings a unique angle. Still, the writing style made it impossible for me to connect with some poems, and I think her more recent collection (I LOVE YOU, CALL ME BACK) is a stronger representation of her talent.
I'm not always a fan of certain modern poetry styles, but I appreciate that Benaim brings a unique angle. Still, the writing style made it impossible for me to connect with some poems, and I think her more recent collection (I LOVE YOU, CALL ME BACK) is a stronger representation of her talent.
Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
BLACK CAKE is a family saga that spans multiple generations and countries. I want to keep this review short so I don't give away too much, but I mostly enjoyed the book. Its beautiful prose was its strength, and its length (longer than I thought necessary) was its weakness. It has many side stories and mentions of social issues that were probably attempts at character development or story complexity but felt meaningless. Overall, I love a family saga, and this one, which took me from the Caribbean to London to the United States, was an ambitious tale about generational secrets, traumas, and traditions.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent
Moderate: Biphobia and Rape
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
mysterious
tense
4.5
After reading at least two of Gillian Flynn's books, I finally got around to GONE GIRL. It was even more wild and twisty than the rest. This was a fun (?) and chaotic tale of unreliable narrators and generally terrible people. The writing is excellent and portrays realistic dynamics in the marriage at the center of it until things get out of hand in an almost unbelievable way. I thoroughly enjoyed "watching" this havoc unfold (well, except for the anticlimactic ending—that was some B.S.)
So When Are You Having Kids: The Definitive Guide for Those Who Aren't Sure If, When, or How They Want to Become Parents by Jordan Davidson
4.0
I've read a lot of books about parenthood this year, and 'So When Are You Having Kids?' is one of the most helpful ones. I love books like this that respect parenthood as a life-altering decision that deserves contemplation from those who aren't sure about it. The author of 'So When Are You Having Kids?' clearly understands this and provides information nonjudgmentally and inclusively. They share perspectives from people of different genders, races, and disabilities and demonstrate how decisions about whether or not to have kids can change based on time, circumstance, and more.
The book offers a lot of helpful insight, including stories from people who fall in a variety of places on the "kids or childfree" decision spectrum, detailed information about fertility mechanics and treatments, financial costs, ethics and climate consequences of having kids, adoption and fostering, choosing a childfree life, dealing with outside pressure, etc.
It's detailed and diverse, and I believe it generally did what it set out to do. It's a well-rounded guide with answers to most common questions about choosing parenthood, although it offers more information on some topics and decisions than others. I'd recommend it to anyone who could use some help navigating when, how, or if they want to have children. It probably won't give anyone a definitive answer, but the practical information and valuable insights from real people with the same questions will surely help on the journey.
The book offers a lot of helpful insight, including stories from people who fall in a variety of places on the "kids or childfree" decision spectrum, detailed information about fertility mechanics and treatments, financial costs, ethics and climate consequences of having kids, adoption and fostering, choosing a childfree life, dealing with outside pressure, etc.
It's detailed and diverse, and I believe it generally did what it set out to do. It's a well-rounded guide with answers to most common questions about choosing parenthood, although it offers more information on some topics and decisions than others. I'd recommend it to anyone who could use some help navigating when, how, or if they want to have children. It probably won't give anyone a definitive answer, but the practical information and valuable insights from real people with the same questions will surely help on the journey.
Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler
challenging
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
I barely know what to say about Parable of the Sower other than that this is terrifying 😂 This dystopian/science fiction novel was written in the '90s and set in an imagined future 2024-2027, so reading it in 2024 was a trip.
If you find climate change or apocalypse scenarios scary or even interesting, you'll be into this. There's also a strong female lead character, Lauren, who is 15 years old when the story starts. She, her family, and her tight-knit group of neighbors live in an isolated (semi-protected from danger by a wall) neighborhood. They're trying to survive in a world that is being wrecked by climate catastrophe, crony capitalism, and violence driven by desperation, drug abuse, and extreme need.
This is my second book by Octavia E. Butler, and while I enjoyed Kindred, what she accomplished (and predicted) with Parable of the Sower blew me away even more. I was intrigued all the way through, in distress half the time, and impressed by most of it.
It read a bit like a YA novel, which I guess makes sense given the lead character's age. A big age gap relationship was introduced, which felt weird and unnecessary. I would've liked more context about what led up to Lauren's world becoming what it did. There are a lot of elements that mostly work well together, including Lauren's hyper-empathy disorder and the new religion she's trying to form, Earthseed. I found the amount of religion stuff tiring at times. I also didn't love the book's ending, but I'm looking forward to seeing how the story continues in the sequel, Parable of the Talents.
To sum it up, Parable of the Sower is a powerful and prophetic book that creates an unnervingly accurate picture of what happens when environmental and economic issues go unchecked. I expected to love this and I did—it was just a much more brutal and bleak read than I expected.
If you find climate change or apocalypse scenarios scary or even interesting, you'll be into this. There's also a strong female lead character, Lauren, who is 15 years old when the story starts. She, her family, and her tight-knit group of neighbors live in an isolated (semi-protected from danger by a wall) neighborhood. They're trying to survive in a world that is being wrecked by climate catastrophe, crony capitalism, and violence driven by desperation, drug abuse, and extreme need.
This is my second book by Octavia E. Butler, and while I enjoyed Kindred, what she accomplished (and predicted) with Parable of the Sower blew me away even more. I was intrigued all the way through, in distress half the time, and impressed by most of it.
It read a bit like a YA novel, which I guess makes sense given the lead character's age. A big age gap relationship was introduced, which felt weird and unnecessary. I would've liked more context about what led up to Lauren's world becoming what it did. There are a lot of elements that mostly work well together, including Lauren's hyper-empathy disorder and the new religion she's trying to form, Earthseed. I found the amount of religion stuff tiring at times. I also didn't love the book's ending, but I'm looking forward to seeing how the story continues in the sequel, Parable of the Talents.
To sum it up, Parable of the Sower is a powerful and prophetic book that creates an unnervingly accurate picture of what happens when environmental and economic issues go unchecked. I expected to love this and I did—it was just a much more brutal and bleak read than I expected.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual violence, Violence, Grief, Murder, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Rape, Suicide, Cannibalism, and Fire/Fire injury
Minor: Drug abuse
I Want to Move on: Break Free from Bitterness and Discover Freedom in Forgiveness by Lauren Vander Linden
3.5
With a lot of grace and a touch of humor, Lauren Vander Linden writes I WANT TO MOVE ON for those who have held on to bitterness after being wronged. She uses the Bible and her personal experience to illustrate her points about what can happen when we let bitterness fester and how refusing to move past the hurt impacts the offended person much more than the offender.
I mostly enjoyed this short and sweet book. It's an approachable guide. Most of my issues were with the writing choices. There were too many analogies, and most didn't land with me. They were writing devices that didn't add anything. Also, more specificity and vulnerability would've improved this book tremendously—the author employs vagueness, such as "I was going through a very difficult season," in a way that made her advice and experiences feel disconnected from the rapport she was trying to build with readers.
But I'm sorry to say that this is typical for a lot of Christian self-help books. These types of writing choices—and this book in general—are, for the most part, an "it's not the book, it's me" scenario. I don't dip into the traditional branches of this genre very often anymore. When I do, I remember that this annoys me. This is a good book that just fell short of the hard-hitting bitterness breaker it could've been by establishing stronger connections and adding more unique insight.
I did like I WANT TO MOVE ON a lot more than many others in its genre that I've read in recent years. There are some gems here and practical tips that made it worth reading. (3.5 stars)
*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
I mostly enjoyed this short and sweet book. It's an approachable guide. Most of my issues were with the writing choices. There were too many analogies, and most didn't land with me. They were writing devices that didn't add anything. Also, more specificity and vulnerability would've improved this book tremendously—the author employs vagueness, such as "I was going through a very difficult season," in a way that made her advice and experiences feel disconnected from the rapport she was trying to build with readers.
But I'm sorry to say that this is typical for a lot of Christian self-help books. These types of writing choices—and this book in general—are, for the most part, an "it's not the book, it's me" scenario. I don't dip into the traditional branches of this genre very often anymore. When I do, I remember that this annoys me. This is a good book that just fell short of the hard-hitting bitterness breaker it could've been by establishing stronger connections and adding more unique insight.
I did like I WANT TO MOVE ON a lot more than many others in its genre that I've read in recent years. There are some gems here and practical tips that made it worth reading. (3.5 stars)
*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Hell If We Don't Change Our Ways: A Memoir by Brittany Means
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Wow. I read a lot of memoirs with heavy subject matter, but this one felt especially heavy—probably because most of the horrors in this book occurred when the author was just a child.
HELL IF WE DON'T CHANGE OUR WAYS is a raw, piercing memoir about the author's traumatic childhood. My God, she went through so much. From spending a solid chunk of her childhood either traveling or living in a car with her mother (always on the run from a man or on the way to live with someone new) to her mother's struggles with addiction and her tendency to disappear for months at a time, Means lived a tumultuous life in every way.
While it was incredibly sad, it was also reflective and beautiful. Means escaped everything and everyone she had become a victim of, sought therapy and healing, and developed an understanding of her mother's addiction and instability. It's a tough read that is hard to recommend, and the timeline she chose to tell the story was a little confusing. But HELL IF WE DON'T CHANGE OUR WAYS is an outstanding memoir if you're in the right headspace to ingest this type of unflinching, tragic content. It's blurbed by Kiese Laymon, author of the memoir HEAVY, which makes total sense and probably tells you plenty about this memoir if you've read his work.
I don't want to overemphasize the challenging content in this book because it doesn't get extremely graphic—it was just the way it's trauma after trauma after trauma that was disconcerting. I didn't want to believe this could all happen to one person, one child, in one lifetime. But the author had a way with words that I enjoyed, a dry wit, and a knack for flair that shows off her talent.
*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Content warnings: Child abuse, domestic violence, child neglect, drug abuse and addiction, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, toxic/abusive relationship, sexual abuse
HELL IF WE DON'T CHANGE OUR WAYS is a raw, piercing memoir about the author's traumatic childhood. My God, she went through so much. From spending a solid chunk of her childhood either traveling or living in a car with her mother (always on the run from a man or on the way to live with someone new) to her mother's struggles with addiction and her tendency to disappear for months at a time, Means lived a tumultuous life in every way.
While it was incredibly sad, it was also reflective and beautiful. Means escaped everything and everyone she had become a victim of, sought therapy and healing, and developed an understanding of her mother's addiction and instability. It's a tough read that is hard to recommend, and the timeline she chose to tell the story was a little confusing. But HELL IF WE DON'T CHANGE OUR WAYS is an outstanding memoir if you're in the right headspace to ingest this type of unflinching, tragic content. It's blurbed by Kiese Laymon, author of the memoir HEAVY, which makes total sense and probably tells you plenty about this memoir if you've read his work.
I don't want to overemphasize the challenging content in this book because it doesn't get extremely graphic—it was just the way it's trauma after trauma after trauma that was disconcerting. I didn't want to believe this could all happen to one person, one child, in one lifetime. But the author had a way with words that I enjoyed, a dry wit, and a knack for flair that shows off her talent.
*This review is based on a digital advance copy provided by the publisher. All opinions are 100% honest and my own.
Content warnings: Child abuse, domestic violence, child neglect, drug abuse and addiction, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, toxic/abusive relationship, sexual abuse
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and Abandonment
Moderate: Addiction and Drug abuse
I Love You, Call Me Back: Poems by Sabrina Benaim
emotional
hopeful
reflective
3.5
Mental health, her mother's diagnosis, grief, uncertainty, friendship—Sabrina Benaim covers a lot of ground in this collection.
She writes beautifully and vulnerably about how depression, anxiety, and grief can come in waves and how healing isn't linear. It's not my favorite collection of hers, but I enjoyed her work as I always do.
She writes beautifully and vulnerably about how depression, anxiety, and grief can come in waves and how healing isn't linear. It's not my favorite collection of hers, but I enjoyed her work as I always do.
Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships by Danielle B. Jackson
informative
inspiring
reflective
5.0
I've been a fan of Jackson's podcast, Friend Forward, for years. She gives practical, balanced advice on building and maintaining friendships, and her new book, Fighting for Our Friendships, is no exception.
The book is split into three parts. The first two parts serve a solid purpose, and the third part wraps it all up and brings it together. I found the second part most helpful. The first part unpacks some characteristics and challenges in friendships between women, and the second part breaks down a few different types of friends (the flaky friend, the jealous friend, the love-obsessed friend, etc.) and how to navigate (or whether to end) those friendships. There are even examples and scripts for communicating with/confronting each type of friend to help you plan what to say to them and how to say it healthily.
My copy of this book is full of flags. I even started recommending it to a few of my friends before I'd finished it (they loved it, too). This is a big recommendation from me as someone who tries to center and prioritize the friendships in my life. If you want to learn more about how to preserve your friendships or make better ones, Fighting for Our Friendships is a great resource.
The book is split into three parts. The first two parts serve a solid purpose, and the third part wraps it all up and brings it together. I found the second part most helpful. The first part unpacks some characteristics and challenges in friendships between women, and the second part breaks down a few different types of friends (the flaky friend, the jealous friend, the love-obsessed friend, etc.) and how to navigate (or whether to end) those friendships. There are even examples and scripts for communicating with/confronting each type of friend to help you plan what to say to them and how to say it healthily.
My copy of this book is full of flags. I even started recommending it to a few of my friends before I'd finished it (they loved it, too). This is a big recommendation from me as someone who tries to center and prioritize the friendships in my life. If you want to learn more about how to preserve your friendships or make better ones, Fighting for Our Friendships is a great resource.
Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke
3.0
This was...fine? It relied heavily on the stories of clients the author has treated, and I wasn't a huge fan of how those stories were presented. The tone felt infantilizing, the accents seemed disrespectful (I read this via audio), and the author came off a little judgy, prudish, and maybe even biased against psychiatric medications.
The author eventually acknowledged that medication can be life-saving but questioned whether it can be dangerous to medicate every type of pain or discomfort—which I think is fair. Some solutions and suggestions for balance were presented in the book, but shock factor examples and moralistic takes outweighed them.
The author eventually acknowledged that medication can be life-saving but questioned whether it can be dangerous to medicate every type of pain or discomfort—which I think is fair. Some solutions and suggestions for balance were presented in the book, but shock factor examples and moralistic takes outweighed them.