Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
19 reviews
annerbtw's review against another edition
3.75
I liked it, I found it insightful, but I think I went in with the wrong expectations. I assumed that by the end of the book, you'd have resources that could be "easily" applied to your own mental health journey. Kolk definitely teaches you about them, but they're not easily applied to anything specific you might have going on. It's a very educational read... but don't read it side-by-side with A Little Life, my GOD... do not.
Also, (sorry for long review, anyone reading) there are some negative reviews about Kolk sympathizing with horrible people - I don't necessarily think that's true. The same way that people find documentaries about serial killers interesting, I think the same applies here. I would never excuse the actions some mentally disturbed people do at the beginning of this book, but I think it's important for us to find the source (if there is one), and figure out how to keep it from happening again. There can be a lot of fascination in this topic because of just how complex humans are, how complex the brain is.... that's what the whole book is about.
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Panic attacks/disorders, Medical trauma, Incest, Grief, Gaslighting, Eating disorder, Child abuse, Blood, Toxic relationship, Torture, Mental illness, Forced institutionalization, Drug abuse, Death of parent, Chronic illness, Addiction, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Rape, Injury/Injury detail, Emotional abuse, Drug use, Domestic abuse, Child death, Cannibalism, Alcoholism, Suicide attempt, Alcohol, and Death
monstrouscosmos's review against another edition
1.0
Graphic: Abandonment, Grief, Homophobia, Mass/school shootings, Eating disorder, Gaslighting, Infidelity, Car accident, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Ableism, Addiction, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Classism, Colonisation, Death, Genocide, Gun violence, Hate crime, Incest, Mental illness, Misogyny, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Police brutality, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Trafficking, Violence, and War
sugarwookiee's review against another edition
4.0
It is quite slow paced and the author is a bit pretentious at times. There is a significant amount of detail involving some of his patients' trauma (more than I feel is necessary in my opinion) but this is coming from someone who suffers from CPTSD; those reading from a clinical perspective without that may feel differently.
I found the first half of the book to be the most interesting because it showed me the ways in which I was holding onto trauma that I hadn't realized. The way that trauma can and does seep into every part of your existence and things that you may not realize were related were in fact a direct result. If that seems interesting to you and you're able to deal with some intense descriptions, it's a worthwhile read. If you're looking for self-help and a less medical, more talk-therapy type of book, this isn't it.
Graphic: Abandonment, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Incest, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Mental illness, Medical trauma, and Body shaming
Moderate: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Cursing, Self harm, Rape, and Addiction
Minor: Confinement, Death, and Death of parent
l1brarygirl's review against another edition
4.5
My actual rating: 4.5 stars - I'm rounding up because I think this book is going to stay with me for a long time. I would recommend it to anyone that wants a deeper understanding of trauma and how it effects your physical body as well as the mind.
I also recently read [book:Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art|48890486], which may be a very good companion read.
Impactful quotes:
“Many of our patients are barely aware of their breath, so learning to focus on the in and out breath, to notice whether the breath was fast or slow, and to count breaths in some poses can be a significant accomplishment.”
“We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body. This imprint has ongoing consequences for how the human organism manages to survive in the present. Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.”
“The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.”
“Over the years our research team has repeatedly found that chronic emotional abuse and neglect can be just as devastating as physical abuse and sexual molestation.”
“Talking about painful events doesn’t necessarily establish community – often quite the contrary. Families and organizations may reject members who air the dirty laundry; friends and family can lost patience with people who get stuck in their grief or hurt. This is one reason why trauma victims often withdraw and why their stories become rote narratives, edited into a form least likely to provoke rejection.”
“I wish I could separate trauma from politics, but as long as we continue to live in denial and treat only trauma while ignoring its origins, we are bound to fail. In today’s world your ZIP code, even more than your genetic code, determines whether you will lead a safe and healthy life. People’s income, family structure, housing, employment, and educational opportunities affect not only their risk of developing traumatic stress but also their access to effective help to address it. Poverty, unemployment, inferior schools, social isolation, widespread availability of guns, and substandard housing all are breeding grounds for trauma. Trauma breeds further trauma; hurt people hurt other people.”
Graphic: Physical abuse, Rape, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, Drug abuse, Sexual assault, Mental illness, Child abuse, Incest, Addiction, Panic attacks/disorders, and Abandonment
Moderate: Self harm, Eating disorder, Sexual harassment, Genocide, Ableism, Infidelity, War, Gaslighting, Death of parent, Abortion, Suicidal thoughts, and Medical trauma
comrad3's review against another edition
5.0
Moderate: Mental illness, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Pedophilia, and Adult/minor relationship
Minor: Incest, Addiction, Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Abandonment, Drug use, and Gun violence
issyd23's review
2.0
Graphic: Body horror, Sexual violence, Addiction, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Self harm, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Incest, Murder, Physical abuse, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Gaslighting, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Grief, Rape, Sexual assault, Abandonment, Dysphoria, and Emotional abuse
novella42's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Bullying, Cancer, Death, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Addiction, Child death, Chronic illness, Drug use, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Incest, Medical content, Medical trauma, Grief, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Violence, War, Car accident, Death of parent, Drug abuse, Mental illness, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Gun violence, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Sexism, and Sexual harassment
hannah1937's review against another edition
0.25
His first case study is Tom, a man who killed children and raped women during the war, which is presented to us as an understandable trauma response to losing his friends in battle.
His second case study is Sylvia, and the first thing we are told about her is that she is an attractive 19 year old, like that is somehow relavent to anything, or an appropriate way for a therapist to describe a patient. Interestingly we aren’t told anything about Tom’s appearance. Sylvia was raped by her brother and uncle as a child, which he describes as incest, like that the only thing wrong with that situation. As we learn from Tom, raping children is understandable, as long as you aren’t related to them.
He also describes domestic violence as ‘couples who engage in violence’, a deliberate phrase to remove the concept of a perpetrator and a victim, which is complete rubbish.
He then describes how surprised he was to learn he got satisfaction from wrestling patients to the ground when working at his first psychiatrict faculty. Do not read this book.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Gaslighting, Medical trauma, Self harm, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Forced institutionalization, Incest, Misogyny, Pedophilia, and Physical abuse
franklola's review against another edition
4.25
Graphic: Body shaming, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicide, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Child abuse, Rape, Suicide attempt, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Pedophilia, Violence, Confinement, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Incest, Mental illness, and Misogyny
sadieh's review against another edition
4.0
Moderate: Child abuse, Incest, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Suicidal thoughts
If you have trauma that you’re still working through, please take care of yourself when reading this. It’s helpful but also highly activating.