lindasdarby's review against another edition
3.0
I liked a lot of things about this book and I think there was some solid advice on ways to better handle difficult situations with teenagers. I wish that there had been a few more real to life scenarios - like I would really rather figure out how to better parent before my child gets arrested. I also think it is going to take way more than one conversation to work through most things with your kids. That being said I appreciated a lot the book had to offer.
pharmdad2007's review against another edition
5.0
While there may be a few things that I find to be a bit extreme in the Love and Logic philosophy, it is generally a wonderful parenting strategy that has served us extremely well over the years. This book gave me some really good ideas and lots to think about concerning parenting strategies with our teenagers and teenagers-to-come.
rachel_abby_reads's review against another edition
5.0
I kinda wish I'd read it before I had teens, and before I was in freak out mode, but I'm glad I've read it now and intend to get my own copy, fast.
book_nut's review against another edition
4.0
I read an old edition, so it was a bit outdated, but there's some good stuff here.
k_lee_reads_it's review against another edition
4.0
I don't agree with everything they said, but there are definately some great ideas for helping teens become responsible for themselves.
crizzle's review against another edition
2.0
1.5 stars. 5 stars for the basic Love and Logic principles we know and love, big fat ZERO stars for a lot of the homophobia and gender roles in here!!!! I was blown away by this book, as I’ve read Parenting with Love and Logic, and Parenting Early Childhood with Love and Logic; in the hopes of making it stick better in my parenting style, this is the third summer in a row I’ve read a L&L book. The other two are absolutely fine but this one for the teen years I DO NOT RECOMMEND. A new edition was just released in 2020, and you’d think they could have hired some rational thinking millennial to proofread this crap, clearly written by two old white guys for parenting Gen Xers. (Even the teen names were ones like Craig, Susan, Brad…)
The worst of the worst was the “actual” conversation a mother had with her teenage daughter about STDs, a bunch of made up nonsense that sounded like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin having a birds and the bees talk with her daughter. “Shoot, folks say those darn bugs’ll make yer cervix ripped up and the sperm can’t get on the elevator up the Fallopian tubes.” True story. Then, still under the guise of being a “true story” (which L&L readers know already to take with a grain of salt… everyone sounds the same: cheesy) the daughter grows up, goes off to college, and violating all of the HIPPA laws, the parents get a letter from the university student health doctor congratulating them on their daughter’s virginity!!!!!!!! I’m not making this up, but someone else sure was.
And what was with the thing against boys getting their ear pierced? The lesson is you can’t control what they do to their body but it’s implied this is a major issue, also is your son gay??
The worst of the worst was the “actual” conversation a mother had with her teenage daughter about STDs, a bunch of made up nonsense that sounded like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin having a birds and the bees talk with her daughter. “Shoot, folks say those darn bugs’ll make yer cervix ripped up and the sperm can’t get on the elevator up the Fallopian tubes.” True story. Then, still under the guise of being a “true story” (which L&L readers know already to take with a grain of salt… everyone sounds the same: cheesy) the daughter grows up, goes off to college, and violating all of the HIPPA laws, the parents get a letter from the university student health doctor congratulating them on their daughter’s virginity!!!!!!!! I’m not making this up, but someone else sure was.
And what was with the thing against boys getting their ear pierced? The lesson is you can’t control what they do to their body but it’s implied this is a major issue, also is your son gay??
kslhersam's review against another edition
4.0
I liked the overall idea of raising independent kids who know how to take responsibility for themselves. Some of the example dialogue was pretty silly though. I would never talk to my child as weirdly as their examples. It sure gave me some things to think about in regards to 13 year old.
morgan3wade's review against another edition
1.0
This book has many 5 star reviews and I honestly cannot figure out why. It opens with a story about a woman tricking her son into thinking he’s going to jail and tells the officer to put him in with pedophiles and sex abusers. That isn’t loving or logical, and I almost put the book down right then. Since I have several friends who love this book, I decided to keep reading.
The overall ideas such as not yelling, natural consequences, and giving teens responsibility make sense. But they don’t encourage building a strong relationship as a backbone to this, and they give many horrible examples and bad advice.
They encourage throwing a 15 year old out on the street, and then encourage putting your kids on the streets or threatening to several times throughout the book. The things they say to the kids do not sound loving, such as “it’s an irritation to be around you”, and the conversations in general are so fake and forced and will not go like that in real life. So what will you say when your kid doesn’t happily comply after you tell them they’re gonna live on the streets?
Instead of teaching basic human decency, like we should have compassion for each other in this house and do things for each other, they say “well I pay the mortgage so you have to do this.”
Some specific issues I had were the abstinence based stance they took, telling kids they will become infertile if they have sex too early, supposedly a random doctor wrote to this woman and congratulated her on her daughter being a virgin??? They say it’s okay to say to a gay child “I hope you will live a heterosexual life” and say that is still accepting them. They suggest kicking kids out or calling the police on them (and in my opinion that does not take into account that police encounters can be dangerous or the fact that they now have a record that is hard to bounce back from particularly for non-white people). They praised someone who left their kids alone because they were annoying her and made them figure out and pay on their own for a taxi. They say “cocaine is distributed to kids in almost every elementary school” ???! They tell a girl she will be raped and cut up and another girl she’ll be beat up and raped. I do encourage talking about risks with kids, but the way they do it is not at all with love. Parents have an obligation to feed their children, even if they spend all their allowance, and we shouldn’t say “you can get food out of the fridge when you pay for it” when they know the child has no money.
This book had no love or logic in my opinion and I can’t understand how it has been so praised.
The overall ideas such as not yelling, natural consequences, and giving teens responsibility make sense. But they don’t encourage building a strong relationship as a backbone to this, and they give many horrible examples and bad advice.
They encourage throwing a 15 year old out on the street, and then encourage putting your kids on the streets or threatening to several times throughout the book. The things they say to the kids do not sound loving, such as “it’s an irritation to be around you”, and the conversations in general are so fake and forced and will not go like that in real life. So what will you say when your kid doesn’t happily comply after you tell them they’re gonna live on the streets?
Instead of teaching basic human decency, like we should have compassion for each other in this house and do things for each other, they say “well I pay the mortgage so you have to do this.”
Some specific issues I had were the abstinence based stance they took, telling kids they will become infertile if they have sex too early, supposedly a random doctor wrote to this woman and congratulated her on her daughter being a virgin??? They say it’s okay to say to a gay child “I hope you will live a heterosexual life” and say that is still accepting them. They suggest kicking kids out or calling the police on them (and in my opinion that does not take into account that police encounters can be dangerous or the fact that they now have a record that is hard to bounce back from particularly for non-white people). They praised someone who left their kids alone because they were annoying her and made them figure out and pay on their own for a taxi. They say “cocaine is distributed to kids in almost every elementary school” ???! They tell a girl she will be raped and cut up and another girl she’ll be beat up and raped. I do encourage talking about risks with kids, but the way they do it is not at all with love. Parents have an obligation to feed their children, even if they spend all their allowance, and we shouldn’t say “you can get food out of the fridge when you pay for it” when they know the child has no money.
This book had no love or logic in my opinion and I can’t understand how it has been so praised.
v10's review against another edition
2.0
So. I have some very mixed feelings about this book.
It did contain some helpful parenting advice.
It also contained a lot of religious nonsense.
Most helpful advice for me: Consider whether the issue you're having with your teen is actually your problem. (Teen being disrespectful, or not doing household chores: your problem. Teen not doing homework, or smoking while away from home: not your problem.) No major changes yet, except in my stress level, because I can tell Kid my opinion/suggestion, but ultimately most decisions are theirs.
Most ridiculous religious bit: Parents discourage their daughter from premarital sex, then when she was engaged and got her first pelvic exam the doctor *wrote to her parents congratulating them because she was still a virgin.*
Was this book written before HIPAA was a thing? And I realize that doctors are affected by their own biases as much as the rest of us, but how are you an OB/GYN and don't know that virginity is a social construct.
It did contain some helpful parenting advice.
It also contained a lot of religious nonsense.
Most helpful advice for me: Consider whether the issue you're having with your teen is actually your problem. (Teen being disrespectful, or not doing household chores: your problem. Teen not doing homework, or smoking while away from home: not your problem.) No major changes yet, except in my stress level, because I can tell Kid my opinion/suggestion, but ultimately most decisions are theirs.
Most ridiculous religious bit: Parents discourage their daughter from premarital sex, then when she was engaged and got her first pelvic exam the doctor *wrote to her parents congratulating them because she was still a virgin.*
Was this book written before HIPAA was a thing? And I realize that doctors are affected by their own biases as much as the rest of us, but how are you an OB/GYN and don't know that virginity is a social construct.
katecutup_lovesbooks's review against another edition
informative
fast-paced
2.75
Honestly I love the love and logic approach, it teaches kids to be accountable while expecting parents to be understanding and empathetic. It was also a very fast-paced and easy to read/understand book. However I couldnt give it any higher than a two for the misinformation printed about sex and gender roles, which I find to be highly irresponsible. I think that the authors need to make it obvious that this parenting approach has been formulated with their personal religious beliefs in mind (which you wouldnt know by reading their bios or the back of the book). Its not because its religious that I marked it down, only because the advise given out on sex and gender is not based on actual studies/research/child development facts, but religious ideals and that needs to be made CLEAR to the reader or left out all together, in my opinion.