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zooloo1983's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Gosh, this was a tough book. Weirdly not because of what had happened, because yes that is shocking and horrifying. But I found it tough because of what happened to Chrissie and how she was treated. Her entire life she was let down, and I will never look at Smarties the same way. It was shocking and damn right awful what happened to her. Chrissie didn't ask for any of that, and sadly she rebelled. However, this "rebellion" is not what we would consider normal, but you can see something break within her. How she described the judge, with the man in the white wig, and Linda's mum and her speech was heartbreaking for someone so young to hear. Someone so broken. She was not a happy child, she wasn't wanted by anyone and tried to force herself on her friends and families, to make them like her. All she wanted was to be loved and she needed to be rescued.
Julia, a woman who is trying to run for her past, is just sad and existing, not living. Trying to "outrun" her past, but can anyone? Molly was her beacon of light, no idea of the inner turmoil of her mum.
It's not an easy book, and even though the ending happened, I didn't find it a happy one to some extent. The only way I can think of this being happy is if changes happened. If Julia made something of herself and found a way to live with her past and give Molly the future she deserves.
It's not an easy book to read, or listen to, which is what I did. The narrator got the aggression of Chrissie to a T. She got the hollowness of Julia too. The narrator truly captured the despair within these pages. It's a book that could haunt you for a while.
Julia, a woman who is trying to run for her past, is just sad and existing, not living. Trying to "outrun" her past, but can anyone? Molly was her beacon of light, no idea of the inner turmoil of her mum.
It's not an easy book, and even though the ending happened, I didn't find it a happy one to some extent. The only way I can think of this being happy is if changes happened. If Julia made something of herself and found a way to live with her past and give Molly the future she deserves.
It's not an easy book to read, or listen to, which is what I did. The narrator got the aggression of Chrissie to a T. She got the hollowness of Julia too. The narrator truly captured the despair within these pages. It's a book that could haunt you for a while.
emmasbibliotreasures's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
'So that was all it took,' I thought. 'That was all it took for me to feel like I had all the power in the world. One morning, one moment, one yellow-haired boy. It wasn't so much after all.'
Eight-year-old Chrissie knows she’s a bad seed. After all, everyone is always telling her so. But now she has a secret no one else knows. Something that makes her feel powerful and gives her a fizzing, sherbert feeling in her belly: she’s the one who killed two-year-old Steven.
Fifteen years later, Julia is trying to be the best mother she can be to five-year-old Molly. Julia worries about everything. But most of all she worries that her past will return to haunt her and social services will take her daughter away.
“I killed a little boy today.”
When a book starts with a sentence like that it grabs your attention from the start. And this one never let me go. Profoundly dark, unsettling, harrowing and moving, The First Day of Spring is aDarkly atmospheric, intense, haunting, affecting and thought-provoking, this book left me speechless. I loved it but felt totally hollowed out once it was over. This is an easy five stars from me and I’m sure it will be in my top reads of the year. Highly recommended.
Rating: ✮✮✮✮✮
n extraordinary debut. Based on the real-life crimes of Mary Bell, a child convicted of killing two children in the sixties and was later released from prison with a new identity, Nancy Tucker skillfully explores the disturbing psyche of a child killer, asking if some people are born evil, and if forgiveness and redemption are ever possible for someone who kills. This deeply uncomfortable read is a story of murder, toxic families, neglect, poverty, trauma, and the shades of grey that exist between the black and white of morality. Tucker is an exceptional storyteller whose writing is compelling, perceptive, compassionate and menacing. Every word oozes darkness, malice, suffering, pain, and pent-up rage. But there is also helplessness, fragility, sadness and desperation woven in, creating a jarring contrast of emotions that will simultaneously send shivers down your spine and tug on your heart strings. This book broke me. I haven’t stopped thinking about it and I know it will stay with me forever.
“I liked it that way. It meant I got to be a killer but I also got days off from being a killer. Because being a killer was quite a tiring thing to be.”
Tucker has created a cast of seriously complex characters for this book. They are damaged people trying to survive their hard lives, often resorting to desperate measures, and remind us that no-one is ever all good or all bad. Chrissie is a character I will never forget. She has never known love or affection, she’s always hungry, her clothes are dirty and tatty, and no-one ever wants her around. She is all-too aware that her life is unfair and she’s seething about it. It makes her vindictive and she lashes out at other children, bullying them in an attempt to seize back some power and control. It was devastating to read and my heart broke for her. But, equally, being immersed inside young Chrissie’s mind was a chilling and disturbing experience, something which was enhanced by the juxtaposition of her angry, sinister thoughts and her childish innocence. To me, it felt obvious that her terrible actions were those of a desperate, lost and mixed-up child crying out for love and attention rather than someone who was evil. Though that doesn’t mean I don’t condemn her actions, because I do.
“Because any kid who stayed with me would grow up a jigsaw of rotted, crumbling parts.”
Julia is a very different character. Anxious, anguished and emotionally scarred, she’s haunted by guilt and feels undeserving of happiness. But, first and foremost, Julia is a mother who loves her daughter, Molly, so much that she hates being separated from her even while she’s at school. She’s determined to be a good mother even though she has no example from her own mother, who was neglectful, uninterested and abusive. I was proud of Julia for refusing to continue this cycle, as it would have been easy to be a bad mother and make excuses. Julia is a bundle of nerves and worries about everything from how she will afford tonight’s tea to if the school mums like her. But the thing she worries about most is losing custody of her daughter. My heart broke for her and I was rooting for her as she really was remorseful and trying her best.
“People kept forgetting me. It wasn’t good enough.”
Darkly atmospheric, intense, haunting, affecting and thought-provoking, this book left me speechless. I loved it but felt totally hollowed out once it was over. This is an easy five stars from me and I’m sure it will be in my top reads of the year. Highly recommended.
the_sara_post's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
the_hateful_reader's review against another edition
1.0
Stupid. It took me 3 days to finish the last hour of this book only to find out the child[ren] murderer grows up to live a happy and fairly normal life. And if that spoiled the book for you enough that you don’t read it, my work here is done.
lbast's review against another edition
challenging
dark
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
haileyreads_'s review against another edition
2.0
i mean. it was alright. lil repetitive.
i was expecting this to be more of a thriller tbh
i was expecting this to be more of a thriller tbh
chapseachelsman's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
ashattackkk's review against another edition
challenging
dark
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I don’t think I’ve ever read a book where I was so deeply disgusted by the main character, and yet by the end crying for her. I think Nancy Tucker is an incredibly talented writer and this book hit home for its theme of childhood trauma and its impacts.
sammyisobsessed24's review against another edition
5.0
I cannot express how very much I loved this book.
The First Day of Spring is a dark, painful story, but it is also a beautiful one. Chrissy is eight years old; she's killed a little boy. She's a murderer, but she is also a child in an abusive home with a mother who starves her of food and affection. She has no control over her life and finds control in the horrific act she commits.
The story bounces between Chrissy's POV at eight years old, and the grown-up version of her now called Julia, who has a child of her own. She has a five-year-old daughter, Molly, who she loves more than anything and does everything to protect. She's haunted by the specters of her past, from her crimes, the pain she's caused, and the pain she's endured.
Nancy Tucker's debut fiction novel paints a very nuanced picture of child neglect and abuse and the dangerous results it can have. It forces the reader to consider forgiveness and who is worthy of it. When children commit horrible crimes, people quickly label them evil incarnate. But there's always a much more complicated reason kids do bad things. Often, it points to their parents and caregivers—untreated psychological issues. Something horribly wrong is happening in their home environment.
At the beginning of the book, Chrissy is a terrifying, mean child. But it's quickly clear there's so much more to her than that. Despite everything, I felt so much for this little girl and Julia, who wants to provide a good life for her kid and reckon with her past.
I know this book will stay with me for a long time.
The First Day of Spring is a dark, painful story, but it is also a beautiful one. Chrissy is eight years old; she's killed a little boy. She's a murderer, but she is also a child in an abusive home with a mother who starves her of food and affection. She has no control over her life and finds control in the horrific act she commits.
The story bounces between Chrissy's POV at eight years old, and the grown-up version of her now called Julia, who has a child of her own. She has a five-year-old daughter, Molly, who she loves more than anything and does everything to protect. She's haunted by the specters of her past, from her crimes, the pain she's caused, and the pain she's endured.
Nancy Tucker's debut fiction novel paints a very nuanced picture of child neglect and abuse and the dangerous results it can have. It forces the reader to consider forgiveness and who is worthy of it. When children commit horrible crimes, people quickly label them evil incarnate. But there's always a much more complicated reason kids do bad things. Often, it points to their parents and caregivers—untreated psychological issues. Something horribly wrong is happening in their home environment.
At the beginning of the book, Chrissy is a terrifying, mean child. But it's quickly clear there's so much more to her than that. Despite everything, I felt so much for this little girl and Julia, who wants to provide a good life for her kid and reckon with her past.
I know this book will stay with me for a long time.