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melanna's review
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
I picked up this book by accident. I thought i was getting crucial conversations and was confused when they referred to it.
But it was timely and the first chapter gave insight into an issue in my life that i could apply right away
I’m pretty good at these conversations. I think I naturally follow these steps. Most of the time. Which means some of the time my conversations don’t go well and having this broken down really helped me see why things derail sometimes and how to fix it.
I do think following these steps a person could talk about anything to anyone. If communication is difficult in your life this is a great book.
But it was timely and the first chapter gave insight into an issue in my life that i could apply right away
I’m pretty good at these conversations. I think I naturally follow these steps. Most of the time. Which means some of the time my conversations don’t go well and having this broken down really helped me see why things derail sometimes and how to fix it.
I do think following these steps a person could talk about anything to anyone. If communication is difficult in your life this is a great book.
jpmaguire2's review against another edition
5.0
A practical guide on why you find certain conversations difficult and the changes you need to make to approaching them comfortably.
papidoc's review against another edition
5.0
Like the authors' previous book, Crucial Conversations, this book is a high leverage way to improve your relationships with others, and your ability to hold yourself and others accountable without damaging the relationship. A must read, whether for your work life or your personal life. As for "Crucial Conversations," I thought so highly of this book and the tools taught in it that I completed the "train-the-trainer" workshop and now provide training programs based on the material.
spiringvenus's review
3.0
In some ways I liked this book more than its predecessor Crucial Conversations.
Things I liked:
Learning about motivation- you don’t have to be an inspirational speaker, you don’t have to use a stick, you also don’t have to use a carrot - you have to use logic and talk about consequences and figure out which consequences actually matter to the person you’re trying to motivate
When to tackle issues- sometimes a bigger issue comes up when you’re in the middle of a confrontation. If that issue is bigger than switch to it and put a pin in talking later about the first issue.
Follow-up. Schedule it during the confrontation. Don’t just discuss conflict and let it go to be discussed again later. Assign tasks and Follow up on the progress.
Things I didn’t like:
The visual cues/diagram didn’t make much sense to me
Some of the book is a repeat of Crucial Conversations
Things I liked:
Learning about motivation- you don’t have to be an inspirational speaker, you don’t have to use a stick, you also don’t have to use a carrot - you have to use logic and talk about consequences and figure out which consequences actually matter to the person you’re trying to motivate
When to tackle issues- sometimes a bigger issue comes up when you’re in the middle of a confrontation. If that issue is bigger than switch to it and put a pin in talking later about the first issue.
Follow-up. Schedule it during the confrontation. Don’t just discuss conflict and let it go to be discussed again later. Assign tasks and Follow up on the progress.
Things I didn’t like:
The visual cues/diagram didn’t make much sense to me
Some of the book is a repeat of Crucial Conversations
kwugirl's review
3.0
This is probably a very good book for a people manager to read. The examples are not bad, though I remain skeptical that they resolve out as easily as described. The first couple chapters were the ones that had the most useful insights for me, namely, getting clear with yourself first on what the actual underlying violated commitment for you is, when there are multiple aspects to a particular disappointment.
To be fair, though, I have extremely low tolerance for people that don't uphold their commitments (this includes people who are forgetful or oblivious to the commitments other people believe they've agreed to). Pretty much for the rest of the book, I was stewing in resentment that you would have to put in so much time and energy to coax people along into doing what they said they do. To me, it's very simple: just don't tell me you're going to do something if you're not going to. But of course, this requires that people be honest with themselves about their priorities and abilities, and I'm told that most people shy away from that. Currently, though, my solution is not to rely on very many people, but I suppose that's the luxury of an individual contributor and introvert.
To be fair, though, I have extremely low tolerance for people that don't uphold their commitments (this includes people who are forgetful or oblivious to the commitments other people believe they've agreed to). Pretty much for the rest of the book, I was stewing in resentment that you would have to put in so much time and energy to coax people along into doing what they said they do. To me, it's very simple: just don't tell me you're going to do something if you're not going to. But of course, this requires that people be honest with themselves about their priorities and abilities, and I'm told that most people shy away from that. Currently, though, my solution is not to rely on very many people, but I suppose that's the luxury of an individual contributor and introvert.