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dream_write_read's review
3.0
I liked it. Very Westworld feel.
I loved the plot of the story. There was just issues with character building and pacing for me. This could have had a higher rating from me if there weren't these issues for me. For example, I felt the romance just kind of appeared out of nowhere there was no build up, no little moments other than the clumsiness of our main character (before the relationship started). But, that wasn't the only relationship the appeared without effort. Same with pacing I felt that this book could have left off sooner to allow more of that world building/character building. There were plenty of opportunities to leave off on a semi-cliffhanger to start the next book with.
Overall though I still enjoyed the story.
I loved the plot of the story. There was just issues with character building and pacing for me. This could have had a higher rating from me if there weren't these issues for me. For example, I felt the romance just kind of appeared out of nowhere there was no build up, no little moments other than the clumsiness of our main character (before the relationship started). But, that wasn't the only relationship the appeared without effort. Same with pacing I felt that this book could have left off sooner to allow more of that world building/character building. There were plenty of opportunities to leave off on a semi-cliffhanger to start the next book with.
Overall though I still enjoyed the story.
emmuhlee's review
4.0
Okay, I waited almost a full day after reading this to come here and write a review. I have so many thoughts and mixed feelings that I’m not sure where to start. I’ve decided after this day that I give it a 3.75 overall, rounded up to four.
Let me start by saying I watch Merphy on YouTube, and I wanted to support her as a self published author and buy her book. Knowing what she likes & dislikes in books makes this review for me all the more confusing, because she wrote in many tropes that she herself does not like. I myself don’t mind them, but that’s just something I’d like to point out.
Now, I have never read a self published book. I took me a minute to adjust to the book, the weird spacing, and the many typos. I did not mind though, because I understand it did not go through intense review. So it being self published will have nothing to do with the rest of my review.
I enjoyed myself reading this book. From beginning to end, I had a good time. The story was good and I like some of the characters. Ashton, however, had to be my least favorite. I’m okay with unlikable characters, but she was a bit too much for me sometimes. Nobody falls that much. And sometimes she was so smart and brave, and others she was dumb. When she decided to rush the Kwaad to release the prisoners with just her and Kaleb, knowing how bad of an idea that was, just didn’t match up with her character well. She went from not caring about Kaleb one second to be willing to just let go and die without him, which was just ridiculous in my opinion. I thought their relationship was cute, but it shifted quite quickly and unexpectedly. She spent her whole time cheating on David with Kaleb, because she couldn’t decide on who to pick, even though she knew David was not real. And Kaleb was okay with it at first, and then he was mad at her? He had to have known how confusing it all was to her. The love triangle really bothered me in this one.
Also, the plot seemed to develop too fast. I know Merphy likes plot driven stories, but this story needed some more world building for us to get a better idea into what Perfection was. I wish we had spent more time in Perfection before the plot started. The conversations in this novel also seemed to shift very quickly. One instance is when she was talking to Declan and she went from having a normal conversation to knowing he was the one who spilled all the details without so much as a thought from her head for the viewers to see.
The story of Perfection and how it came to be made some sense, but it was not quite as fully developed as I would have liked it to have been. Still thought it was an interesting concept.
This novel was quite noticeably a debut novel, but besides the issues I had, I really enjoyed the book and will be reading the next one. Knowing Merphy & her love for tragic endings, I’m anticipating a heartbreaking finale.
Let me start by saying I watch Merphy on YouTube, and I wanted to support her as a self published author and buy her book. Knowing what she likes & dislikes in books makes this review for me all the more confusing, because she wrote in many tropes that she herself does not like. I myself don’t mind them, but that’s just something I’d like to point out.
Now, I have never read a self published book. I took me a minute to adjust to the book, the weird spacing, and the many typos. I did not mind though, because I understand it did not go through intense review. So it being self published will have nothing to do with the rest of my review.
I enjoyed myself reading this book. From beginning to end, I had a good time. The story was good and I like some of the characters. Ashton, however, had to be my least favorite. I’m okay with unlikable characters, but she was a bit too much for me sometimes. Nobody falls that much. And sometimes she was so smart and brave, and others she was dumb. When she decided to rush the Kwaad to release the prisoners with just her and Kaleb, knowing how bad of an idea that was, just didn’t match up with her character well. She went from not caring about Kaleb one second to be willing to just let go and die without him, which was just ridiculous in my opinion. I thought their relationship was cute, but it shifted quite quickly and unexpectedly. She spent her whole time cheating on David with Kaleb, because she couldn’t decide on who to pick, even though she knew David was not real. And Kaleb was okay with it at first, and then he was mad at her? He had to have known how confusing it all was to her. The love triangle really bothered me in this one.
Also, the plot seemed to develop too fast. I know Merphy likes plot driven stories, but this story needed some more world building for us to get a better idea into what Perfection was. I wish we had spent more time in Perfection before the plot started. The conversations in this novel also seemed to shift very quickly. One instance is when she was talking to Declan and she went from having a normal conversation to knowing he was the one who spilled all the details without so much as a thought from her head for the viewers to see.
The story of Perfection and how it came to be made some sense, but it was not quite as fully developed as I would have liked it to have been. Still thought it was an interesting concept.
This novel was quite noticeably a debut novel, but besides the issues I had, I really enjoyed the book and will be reading the next one. Knowing Merphy & her love for tragic endings, I’m anticipating a heartbreaking finale.
nikolina_chuchkov's review
2.0
"Perfection" е младежка дистопия, в която, както и заглавието подсказва, всичко е перфектно. Или поне в града, носещ името Perfection. Обграден от огромни стени без порти и изход, градът е мечтаното място за живеене - улиците са чисти и спокойни, сградите - красиви и без следа от застаряване, растителността е идеално поддържана, а престъпност на практика няма. Част от населението също се състои от перфектни хора (Perfects), които не само че изглеждат безупречно, но и се държат винаги по правилния начин. С тези хора е невъзможно да влезеш в конфликт, просто защото те винаги знаят какво да кажат и направят. Те са перфектните приятел, гадже или съпруг и затова често са женени за не-перфектни (Non-perfects). Последните от своя страна не се разбират особено по между си и затова избягват компанията на други не-перфектни. Вероятно вече си казвате, че всичко това звучи твърде добре, за да е истина. Е, прави сте (все пак говорим за дистопия, не за утопия). Цената на идеалния живот е да не задаваш въпроси. Какво има извън стената? Защо не може да излизаме? Какво се е случило, че да се затворим в Perfection? Защо перфектните не могат да имат деца? От къде тогава идват децата? Защо изобщо има два вида хора? Перфектните никога не задават тези въпроси, а не-перфектните биват откланяни с неясни обяснения ако изобщо се осмелят да попитат. Но 18-годишната Ащън е силно решена да намери своите отговори, особено след като разбира, че нещата извън стената не са такива, каквито всички ѝ казват.
Цялото ревю може да прочетете тук: https://nikireads.wordpress.com/2019/09/18/perfection-merphy-napier
Цялото ревю може да прочетете тук: https://nikireads.wordpress.com/2019/09/18/perfection-merphy-napier
knogden96's review
2.0
2.5/5
I’m really hesitant to write this review because I do watch Merphy on youtube. I really enjoy her videos and personality so please know that this review is completely unbiased and based solely on the material. I did want to go into a lot of detail because it is a new book without many reviews.
Overall, the book was all right but I did have some issues. The “What I didn’t like” list seems a lot longer but really it’s constructive criticism and minor things.
What I Did Like:
For a debut author, I think the writing style was pretty good. It was easy to read and understand and pulled you into the story.
Great plot twist at the end.
What I Didn’t Like:
One thing I didn’t really like was that the plot began very soon. It didn’t give readers a chance to learn about the world and the people who inhabit Perfection. I wish that we could have seen more interactions between people so we could truly understand what was different between the perfects and non-perfects other than simply being told: Hey, they’re perfect unlike us. There’s also no chance for readers to see what the government in place looks like or how citizens are treated. It just felt rushed. These things were explained later on but I feel like explaining this earlier would have made the character's actions more justifiable and believable.
There are some slight grammar issues but that most likely has to do with poor editing. It didn’t really take away from the story but it was definitely noticeable (ie; I’m just so bad at science anymore @ 26% ebook location 1898). Some words in the middle of the sentence would be capitalized for no reason.
I felt like Ashton’s character traits weren’t consistent throughout the book. Sometimes she would be very smart and other times she would miss obvious things. Sometimes she was mature and other times she was childish. Sometimes she planned well and took precaution while other times she raced into danger. It really left me disconnected with her as a character and confused.
This applies to some other characters as well. I find it hard to believe that a warm and loving character can quickly become cruel and menacing.
I think what makes this book average for me is that it’s filled with a lot of popular YA tropes. I feel like I am disappointed because on her youtube channel, she generally points out these tropes and claims to not like them. The main character is a girl who just believes she’s an average looking/average performing girl. Average looking/average performing girl somehow changes the world. The love triangle between the perfect guy and the adventurous bad boy. Insta-love between main characters. Cheating occurs and is justified. Girl leaves everything she knows based off little information. One side is portrayed as cruel and violent to persuade readers to agree with a particular side. I feel like I’m being really harsh but it’s the truth- it seems like a bunch of books pieced together with a new plot idea. Just imagine if the character was a badass faced with two seemingly justified sides and had to make a moral decision? What if both sides were wrong? That’s new and interesting.
Note: In the acknowledgments, she talks about how she was tired of love triangles and she got her idea from wondering how a perfect boyfriend would be vs someone who acted normal. It’s a good idea but I feel like it was just too similar to what readers are accustomed to.
I’m really hesitant to write this review because I do watch Merphy on youtube. I really enjoy her videos and personality so please know that this review is completely unbiased and based solely on the material. I did want to go into a lot of detail because it is a new book without many reviews.
Overall, the book was all right but I did have some issues. The “What I didn’t like” list seems a lot longer but really it’s constructive criticism and minor things.
What I Did Like:
For a debut author, I think the writing style was pretty good. It was easy to read and understand and pulled you into the story.
Great plot twist at the end.
What I Didn’t Like:
One thing I didn’t really like was that the plot began very soon. It didn’t give readers a chance to learn about the world and the people who inhabit Perfection. I wish that we could have seen more interactions between people so we could truly understand what was different between the perfects and non-perfects other than simply being told: Hey, they’re perfect unlike us. There’s also no chance for readers to see what the government in place looks like or how citizens are treated. It just felt rushed. These things were explained later on but I feel like explaining this earlier would have made the character's actions more justifiable and believable.
There are some slight grammar issues but that most likely has to do with poor editing. It didn’t really take away from the story but it was definitely noticeable (ie; I’m just so bad at science anymore @ 26% ebook location 1898). Some words in the middle of the sentence would be capitalized for no reason.
I felt like Ashton’s character traits weren’t consistent throughout the book. Sometimes she would be very smart and other times she would miss obvious things. Sometimes she was mature and other times she was childish. Sometimes she planned well and took precaution while other times she raced into danger. It really left me disconnected with her as a character and confused.
This applies to some other characters as well. I find it hard to believe that a warm and loving character can quickly become cruel and menacing.
I think what makes this book average for me is that it’s filled with a lot of popular YA tropes. I feel like I am disappointed because on her youtube channel, she generally points out these tropes and claims to not like them. The main character is a girl who just believes she’s an average looking/average performing girl. Average looking/average performing girl somehow changes the world. The love triangle between the perfect guy and the adventurous bad boy. Insta-love between main characters. Cheating occurs and is justified. Girl leaves everything she knows based off little information. One side is portrayed as cruel and violent to persuade readers to agree with a particular side. I feel like I’m being really harsh but it’s the truth- it seems like a bunch of books pieced together with a new plot idea. Just imagine if the character was a badass faced with two seemingly justified sides and had to make a moral decision? What if both sides were wrong? That’s new and interesting.
Note: In the acknowledgments, she talks about how she was tired of love triangles and she got her idea from wondering how a perfect boyfriend would be vs someone who acted normal. It’s a good idea but I feel like it was just too similar to what readers are accustomed to.
mercyirene's review
2.0
Ashton was annoying and made stupid decisions so often, even when advised against it and everything was pointing at it being a stupid idea. It really distracted me from paying complete attention to the book at large.
Not my cup of tea. But Merphy herself is great so if she writes another one, i'll pick it up and hope for the best.
Not my cup of tea. But Merphy herself is great so if she writes another one, i'll pick it up and hope for the best.
iva_greeno's review
4.0
I love this novel. I adore Merphy to begin with but I went into this novel not knowing what to expect. I never researched it before reading it, I just jumped right in. I was hit with a novel that is now one of my favorites. You can see that dystopias are one of Merphy's favorite genres. She pulls you into the world of Perfection splendidly. You fall in love with the characters and you feel for them as they go thru the biggest challenges of their life. Perfection is full of everything a great dystopian needs. There was some predictability, but not a lot. I questioned myself on what would happen next quite often. Perfection left me wanting so much more. I want back into this world, I want to see where the characters and the world goes from here. I was craving it at the end. If she ever wrote a continuation, I would read it immediately.
desiree930's review
2.0
2.5 stars
To anyone who is reading this, there are massive spoilers ahead. If you haven’t read this yet and don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now.
Also, this is very long. I had a lot to get off my chest about this book, so you may want to grab a hot beverage and a snack.
This one is tough. I really enjoy Merphy’s booktube channel. She talks about books I don’t hear every other booktuber raving about, and her critiques are very thoughtful and thorough. I’ve picked up several books on her recommendation and enjoyed them.
I wanted to support her writing because I think that it’s important to support self and indie-published authors and creators.
Also, the concept of this book was intriguing to me. I love dystopians. I don’t care if people are burnt out by them. I am still a sucker for a good dystopian.
Unfortunately, Perfection just didn’t quite work for me.
What I liked:
1. The concept. A walled-off country is supposedly the last civilization left after everyone else has died. There are two types of people in this society: Perfects, who are beautiful, agreeable, docile, and well-liked; and Non-Perfects, who are none of those things. Ashton, a young Non-Perfect of 18, is approached by two young men and told that there is a whole group of people living outside the walls. They are called the Keuse, and they’ve made it their mission to Warn (the capitalization is hers, not mine) people when they turn 18 that their government has been lying to them their entire lives. The Perfects are genetically engineered from the DNA of nearly-dead people, and all of the babies coming into Perfection are Keuse-born children who have been kidnapped.
That’s the short version. I wasn’t completely blown away by the idea, but I felt like it had a little potential. It actually reminded me of Westworld in a very small way. The Perfects are human, unlike the Hosts in Westwood, but they are designed for the specific purpose of pleasing the Non-Perfects. I was intrigued.
2. The twist near the end was pretty good. I didn’t find it mind-blowing when I realized what they were doing with the grown Keuse they were snatching, but I thought it was an interesting twist to the story. I actually thought the story had decent momentum at the end that made me want to pick up the next book to see what happens next.
3. Characterization for many of the characters. It was obvious to me that the author spent a lot of time on her characters. And I think that was one of the stronger aspects of this book. Some of the dialogue was actually pretty fun, and I was interested in their backstories.
4. The Keuse. I really liked learning about this group and their customs. I wish we’d seen more.
What I didn’t like:
1. Grammatical/spelling errors. Listen, I’m not trying to be a grammar nazi, okay? I’m really not. I’m trying to take into account that this was a debut novel that was probably either self or indie published and didn’t have a lot of intense editing. But wow. There were a lot of typos and mistakes in here, to the point that it took me out of the story, even when I was enjoying it.
The following are a few examples:
A. She refers to her parents as mom and dad. Without capitalization. When you are using Mom and Dad in place of their actual names, it’s a proper noun, and should be capitalized.
B. She uses the word ‘that’ when she should use the word ‘who’ (ex. Page 325 of kindle edition): To my left was the bushy haired girl that liked to read...
C. She leaves out hyphens that should be used in descriptions (See above. ‘Bushy haired’ should be ‘bushy-haired’. It’s done over and over again.
D. Misspellings. This includes the use of incorrect homonyms in some cases.
Page 12: peaked instead of peeked
Page 27: ally instead of alley
Page 92 and 405: programed instead of programmed
Page 123 and 375: heals instead of heels
Page 153: permanente instead of permanent
Page 158 and 308: awe instead of aw or aww
Page 172: complement instead of compliment
Page 189: A instead of I
Page 203: payed instead of paid
Page 313: ahold instead of ‘a hold’ or just ‘hold’
Page 315: Cicilia instead of Cecilia (it was spelled Cecilia earlier in the book)
Page 403: leaver instead of lever
Yes, I know this is nitpicky and some people will probably think I’m being petty. But it really affected my ability to immerse myself into the story.
2. Ashton. I know we are supposed to be rooting for this main character, but she was insufferable to me. She was selfish, petty, and stubborn to the point that she blinded herself to very obvious truths.
I feel like I could write a book on all the things I disliked about this character.
She overhears her father ordering his minions to go and attack the Keuse, and spends the next couple hundred pages denying that her father could possibly be a bad guy:
Page 231
Ashton: The Keuse think they’re killing them
Declan: And you don’t?
Ashton: I-I don’t know. The Titan are doing a lot of things to hold onto their control here but murder? I’m not sure.
Ummmm...yes you are, Ashton! You heard your father, with your own stupid ears, order the murder of the Keuse. This is not the only instance where she is basically in denial of her father’s murderous nature.
It was so aggravating, because she would learn something, then spend the next several pages, of not chapters, denying or rationalizing it away.
She did the same thing with her Perfect boyfriend, David. She knew from the time she met the Keuse that David, like all Perfects, was genetically engineered to be docile and agreeable. Then she finds out that each Perfect is specifically designed for one Non-Perfect. But she still continues their relationship, even after she begins to have feelings for Kaleb. Even after she tells Kaleb she is going to break it off with David, she gets sucked into David’s obsequious nature and agrees to marry him. It’s totally bizarre. At first I wondered if maybe in the genetic engineering process they play around with pheromones or something to make the Non-Perfects fall for the Perfects, because the second she would get away from David she barely thought about him. But no...that wasn’t it. She was just wishy-washy as heck.
She was also incredibly rash. This, mixed with her stubbornness and relative stupidity, made her do things that got other people hurt and killed. Simple as that. Every single time someone told her not to do something, she did it anyway, and it almost always blew up in her face. Meanwhile, people are fawning all over her like she single-handedly saved their people. Her actions cost several people their lives. She has absolutely terrible judgment.
Also, the whole klutzy thing was so overdone. I hate that cliche in the first place, and this bordered on obnoxious. She trips and falls and stubs her toe and all of this garbage, but by the end we’re supposed to believe she’s the best fighter they have from Perfection. Ooookaaaaay...
As far as the romance goes, I liked Kaleb and he deserves better than Ashton. I honestly don’t really understand what he sees in her.
3. Plot holes/contrivances/questions
I had a lot of questions as I was reading this book. Very few were answered in a satisfactory manner.
-If the Perfects are ‘the Perfect Race’ and they don’t want them breeding with the Non-Perfects because the result would be less than perfection, why the heck were they also making Non-Perfects in the first place? Why weren’t they just making everybody Perfects? I don’t understand that at all.
-Why are the Non-Perfects so antagonistic toward one another? I suppose this could just be Ashton’s character, although it is mentioned in the book that Non-Perfects don’t usually hang out with other Non-Perfects. But then when Ashton goes to the Keuse she doesn’t seem to have any problem getting along with them.
-Why do the Keuse wait until the NPs (got tired of typing Non-Perfect.) turn 18 before approaching them? Wouldn’t it be smarter to go grab them when they are younger and potentially less brainwashed?
-Also, how would they possibly know when each NP is turning 18?
-In that same vein, why don’t they break in and take back their babies?! They seem to have no trouble breaking in at other times, and I would not just let my child be kidnapped without raising hell.
-Why and how was Ashton allowed to wander all over the Kwaad facility with no one knowing? They don’t have cameras? I find that very hard to believe. This is a technologically-advanced, super-oppressive regime that dictates its citizens actions, to the point that they make their partners for them in a lab. But they don’t have cameras in their government facilities?
-There is, conveniently, a room full of files for each person in Perfection. They aren’t stored somewhere safe, like in a computer, but just laying around a random room. Again, this is supposed to be a high-tech futuristic society. But they can’t even get a couple big file cabinets?
-At the beginning of the book, Ashton tears up her arm in a way that is described as ‘raw and bloody.’ Afterwards she goes home and falls asleep without as much as a towel wrapped around it. The next morning she says she forgot about it. Huh?!
-Why did they need to kill people to use their DNA to make new NPs? Why couldn’t they just use artificial insemination?
-Why create the brother character just to forget about him after chapter five. His name is only mentioned in the book 15 times and only once after chapter 5. When it was mentioned, I’d completely forgotten who he was and had to search for his name in the kindle. I feel like there was more to that than we got to see, because it’s mentioned that he and Ashton have similar features. Maybe he and she are actually genetically related? I don’t know. Either way, to introduce his character and then never think about his again was weird.
-Why on Earth would the Keuse stay in a place that was within reach of the Tiran? I simply do not understand. It makes no sense whatsoever. Unless the world really is desolate, and somehow this is the only bit of habitable land left...but I don’t know if I’m buying that. Why would they not pack up and move away from Perfection? Yes, they had their children kidnapped. But they weren’t actually doing anything to stop that or try to get them back, so why stay? Why not get far away? I just don’t understand.
-Why did no one comment when people went missing? And if the NPs didn’t know that the Perfects were genetically engineered, how did they think the Perfects came to be?
4. Setting/world building. I just feel like this wasn’t enough of a focus. We were kind of thrown into this world with very little foundation. Is this supposed to be a futuristic United States? Everyone speaks English, so I’m assuming it’s either the US, the UK, or Ireland. Now, there is a character that speaks with a strong accent that I’m assuming is supposed to be Scottish. But no one else in this book has a discernible accent. Which to me is another plot hole. If this is supposed to be several generations removed from the beginning of Perfection, where did this man’s accent come from?
I wish there had been some clarity on this. In one of those repetitive scenes where Ashton wandered around a super-secret facility couldn’t she have found a room that had some old texts or something. I still don’t feel like I really understand the backstory of this civilization.
I feel awful that I had so many issues with this book because the author seems like such a wonderful and genuine person. I will most likely pick up the second book because I am legitimately curious to see not only the end of the story, but also her growth as an writer. I’m also hoping that some of the questions I have will be answered in the second book. Unfortunately, this one didn’t quite hit the mark for me.
To anyone who is reading this, there are massive spoilers ahead. If you haven’t read this yet and don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now.
Also, this is very long. I had a lot to get off my chest about this book, so you may want to grab a hot beverage and a snack.
This one is tough. I really enjoy Merphy’s booktube channel. She talks about books I don’t hear every other booktuber raving about, and her critiques are very thoughtful and thorough. I’ve picked up several books on her recommendation and enjoyed them.
I wanted to support her writing because I think that it’s important to support self and indie-published authors and creators.
Also, the concept of this book was intriguing to me. I love dystopians. I don’t care if people are burnt out by them. I am still a sucker for a good dystopian.
Unfortunately, Perfection just didn’t quite work for me.
What I liked:
1. The concept. A walled-off country is supposedly the last civilization left after everyone else has died. There are two types of people in this society: Perfects, who are beautiful, agreeable, docile, and well-liked; and Non-Perfects, who are none of those things. Ashton, a young Non-Perfect of 18, is approached by two young men and told that there is a whole group of people living outside the walls. They are called the Keuse, and they’ve made it their mission to Warn (the capitalization is hers, not mine) people when they turn 18 that their government has been lying to them their entire lives. The Perfects are genetically engineered from the DNA of nearly-dead people, and all of the babies coming into Perfection are Keuse-born children who have been kidnapped.
That’s the short version. I wasn’t completely blown away by the idea, but I felt like it had a little potential. It actually reminded me of Westworld in a very small way. The Perfects are human, unlike the Hosts in Westwood, but they are designed for the specific purpose of pleasing the Non-Perfects. I was intrigued.
2. The twist near the end was pretty good. I didn’t find it mind-blowing when I realized what they were doing with the grown Keuse they were snatching, but I thought it was an interesting twist to the story. I actually thought the story had decent momentum at the end that made me want to pick up the next book to see what happens next.
3. Characterization for many of the characters. It was obvious to me that the author spent a lot of time on her characters. And I think that was one of the stronger aspects of this book. Some of the dialogue was actually pretty fun, and I was interested in their backstories.
4. The Keuse. I really liked learning about this group and their customs. I wish we’d seen more.
What I didn’t like:
1. Grammatical/spelling errors. Listen, I’m not trying to be a grammar nazi, okay? I’m really not. I’m trying to take into account that this was a debut novel that was probably either self or indie published and didn’t have a lot of intense editing. But wow. There were a lot of typos and mistakes in here, to the point that it took me out of the story, even when I was enjoying it.
The following are a few examples:
A. She refers to her parents as mom and dad. Without capitalization. When you are using Mom and Dad in place of their actual names, it’s a proper noun, and should be capitalized.
B. She uses the word ‘that’ when she should use the word ‘who’ (ex. Page 325 of kindle edition): To my left was the bushy haired girl that liked to read...
C. She leaves out hyphens that should be used in descriptions (See above. ‘Bushy haired’ should be ‘bushy-haired’. It’s done over and over again.
D. Misspellings. This includes the use of incorrect homonyms in some cases.
Page 12: peaked instead of peeked
Page 27: ally instead of alley
Page 92 and 405: programed instead of programmed
Page 123 and 375: heals instead of heels
Page 153: permanente instead of permanent
Page 158 and 308: awe instead of aw or aww
Page 172: complement instead of compliment
Page 189: A instead of I
Page 203: payed instead of paid
Page 313: ahold instead of ‘a hold’ or just ‘hold’
Page 315: Cicilia instead of Cecilia (it was spelled Cecilia earlier in the book)
Page 403: leaver instead of lever
Yes, I know this is nitpicky and some people will probably think I’m being petty. But it really affected my ability to immerse myself into the story.
2. Ashton. I know we are supposed to be rooting for this main character, but she was insufferable to me. She was selfish, petty, and stubborn to the point that she blinded herself to very obvious truths.
I feel like I could write a book on all the things I disliked about this character.
She overhears her father ordering his minions to go and attack the Keuse, and spends the next couple hundred pages denying that her father could possibly be a bad guy:
Page 231
Ashton: The Keuse think they’re killing them
Declan: And you don’t?
Ashton: I-I don’t know. The Titan are doing a lot of things to hold onto their control here but murder? I’m not sure.
Ummmm...yes you are, Ashton! You heard your father, with your own stupid ears, order the murder of the Keuse. This is not the only instance where she is basically in denial of her father’s murderous nature.
It was so aggravating, because she would learn something, then spend the next several pages, of not chapters, denying or rationalizing it away.
She did the same thing with her Perfect boyfriend, David. She knew from the time she met the Keuse that David, like all Perfects, was genetically engineered to be docile and agreeable. Then she finds out that each Perfect is specifically designed for one Non-Perfect. But she still continues their relationship, even after she begins to have feelings for Kaleb. Even after she tells Kaleb she is going to break it off with David, she gets sucked into David’s obsequious nature and agrees to marry him. It’s totally bizarre. At first I wondered if maybe in the genetic engineering process they play around with pheromones or something to make the Non-Perfects fall for the Perfects, because the second she would get away from David she barely thought about him. But no...that wasn’t it. She was just wishy-washy as heck.
She was also incredibly rash. This, mixed with her stubbornness and relative stupidity, made her do things that got other people hurt and killed. Simple as that. Every single time someone told her not to do something, she did it anyway, and it almost always blew up in her face. Meanwhile, people are fawning all over her like she single-handedly saved their people. Her actions cost several people their lives. She has absolutely terrible judgment.
Also, the whole klutzy thing was so overdone. I hate that cliche in the first place, and this bordered on obnoxious. She trips and falls and stubs her toe and all of this garbage, but by the end we’re supposed to believe she’s the best fighter they have from Perfection. Ooookaaaaay...
As far as the romance goes, I liked Kaleb and he deserves better than Ashton. I honestly don’t really understand what he sees in her.
3. Plot holes/contrivances/questions
I had a lot of questions as I was reading this book. Very few were answered in a satisfactory manner.
-If the Perfects are ‘the Perfect Race’ and they don’t want them breeding with the Non-Perfects because the result would be less than perfection, why the heck were they also making Non-Perfects in the first place? Why weren’t they just making everybody Perfects? I don’t understand that at all.
-Why are the Non-Perfects so antagonistic toward one another? I suppose this could just be Ashton’s character, although it is mentioned in the book that Non-Perfects don’t usually hang out with other Non-Perfects. But then when Ashton goes to the Keuse she doesn’t seem to have any problem getting along with them.
-Why do the Keuse wait until the NPs (got tired of typing Non-Perfect.) turn 18 before approaching them? Wouldn’t it be smarter to go grab them when they are younger and potentially less brainwashed?
-Also, how would they possibly know when each NP is turning 18?
-In that same vein, why don’t they break in and take back their babies?! They seem to have no trouble breaking in at other times, and I would not just let my child be kidnapped without raising hell.
-Why and how was Ashton allowed to wander all over the Kwaad facility with no one knowing? They don’t have cameras? I find that very hard to believe. This is a technologically-advanced, super-oppressive regime that dictates its citizens actions, to the point that they make their partners for them in a lab. But they don’t have cameras in their government facilities?
-There is, conveniently, a room full of files for each person in Perfection. They aren’t stored somewhere safe, like in a computer, but just laying around a random room. Again, this is supposed to be a high-tech futuristic society. But they can’t even get a couple big file cabinets?
-At the beginning of the book, Ashton tears up her arm in a way that is described as ‘raw and bloody.’ Afterwards she goes home and falls asleep without as much as a towel wrapped around it. The next morning she says she forgot about it. Huh?!
-Why did they need to kill people to use their DNA to make new NPs? Why couldn’t they just use artificial insemination?
-Why create the brother character just to forget about him after chapter five. His name is only mentioned in the book 15 times and only once after chapter 5. When it was mentioned, I’d completely forgotten who he was and had to search for his name in the kindle. I feel like there was more to that than we got to see, because it’s mentioned that he and Ashton have similar features. Maybe he and she are actually genetically related? I don’t know. Either way, to introduce his character and then never think about his again was weird.
-Why on Earth would the Keuse stay in a place that was within reach of the Tiran? I simply do not understand. It makes no sense whatsoever. Unless the world really is desolate, and somehow this is the only bit of habitable land left...but I don’t know if I’m buying that. Why would they not pack up and move away from Perfection? Yes, they had their children kidnapped. But they weren’t actually doing anything to stop that or try to get them back, so why stay? Why not get far away? I just don’t understand.
-Why did no one comment when people went missing? And if the NPs didn’t know that the Perfects were genetically engineered, how did they think the Perfects came to be?
4. Setting/world building. I just feel like this wasn’t enough of a focus. We were kind of thrown into this world with very little foundation. Is this supposed to be a futuristic United States? Everyone speaks English, so I’m assuming it’s either the US, the UK, or Ireland. Now, there is a character that speaks with a strong accent that I’m assuming is supposed to be Scottish. But no one else in this book has a discernible accent. Which to me is another plot hole. If this is supposed to be several generations removed from the beginning of Perfection, where did this man’s accent come from?
I wish there had been some clarity on this. In one of those repetitive scenes where Ashton wandered around a super-secret facility couldn’t she have found a room that had some old texts or something. I still don’t feel like I really understand the backstory of this civilization.
I feel awful that I had so many issues with this book because the author seems like such a wonderful and genuine person. I will most likely pick up the second book because I am legitimately curious to see not only the end of the story, but also her growth as an writer. I’m also hoping that some of the questions I have will be answered in the second book. Unfortunately, this one didn’t quite hit the mark for me.
hazelalaska's review
3.0
2.5
I was sort of hesitant to read this because I watch Merphy on YouTube, although I have only watched her videos for a few months. I was wary of reading it because I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, and then I might feel the need to say that it was great in my review even if I didn’t like it because it’s her first novel and in a way I kind of know her through YouTube. I want her to succeed and do well and write great books, but the problem is I didn’t think that this book was that great. I had a lot of problems with it, and it definitely felt like a debut novel. I am not going to sugarcoat this review because of who she is, I am going to review this like I would any other book. It is not my intention to be mean, but to give constructive criticism.
The action started out far too soon in the story, and there was not really enough time to see how Perfection really works. We don’t know how big it is or how things really work there other than the Perfects and the Non-perfects thing, which is confusing in the beginning because it is not explained. The world-building was definitely lacking and could have been better. The book just seemed to drag on and on, as I was reading I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gotten to 50% with all the time I had been reading. Maybe it was because I was stopping to write so many notes because I got really frustrated sometimes, but it just seemed way too long for what it was. I considered dnfing it because it was just so long and I didn’t want to continue because of Ashton’s stupidity (more on that in a minute), but I pushed through because I felt like I had to give it a chance since I do like her videos and it’s her first novel.
The story started out okay, but it sort of went downhill because of the main character. I grew to really despise Ashton because she made so many stupid, rash, and selfish decisions especially throughout the middle portion of the book. Sometimes she admitted that she knew what she was doing was stupid, and that sometimes she was selfish, but she still continued to do stupid things and never learned from her mistakes, even when she put many other people’s lives in danger and jeopardized their mission or ruined the plans that they had. Later on she felt guilty for what she had done, but no one berated her for doing these stupid things, even if there were dire consequences and a lot of damage afterwards. They all just said that she was doing a great job and that it wasn’t her fault, even though she was totally ruining everything, and she did things they specifically told her not to do. They told her to wait, and she doesn’t. They called her a leader even though she was a terrible one, and if they want to succeed they can’t have Ashton running around doing as she pleases just because she all of a sudden changes things. She acted really stupid and selfish throughout the book, and honestly she is up there with characters like Holden Caulfield and Bella Swan as one of the characters I hate the most. Not only did she act stupid, but she really had no strength or backbone to her either, and she was horrible at lying. She would lie but people would already know the truth or see right through her and say “are you sure you aren’t really doing...” whatever it is basically and she won’t even try to deny it or make up an excuse, she would just give in, and that’s not a good thing when you are trying to be sneaky and hide this secret so people don’t get put in danger or killed. I just think that Ashton is not really portrayed realistically because she herself does not really change her behavior throughout the book. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes and think of the lives she is putting at risk.
She is also a sort of cliche character, and made me really think of Bella Swan, because she is clumsy and thinks that she’s not attractive, and I am not a fan of this because it is used way too much to try to give the character flaws but it only serves to make them even more unrealistic. I think her being clumsy is the more unrealistic if the two because the number of times she trips and falls is ridiculous, no one would actually fall that many times in a row.
It seemed to me that I saw evidence of the influence of the Remnant Chronicles (aka The Kiss of Deception) in this book, especially with the similar names ( Kaleb and Kaden). I know that she really liked that series, as well as The Selection, which I could see elements of as well. There were times when I was reminded of other dystopian books that I read a while back and it made me want to reread them and continue on with some of the series.
There were spelling and grammatical errors that did not make the story any better either. Several times Candice is spelled Candace and Cecilia is misspelled once as well, although these were really minor issues. I did really love how she spelled Candice differently though, and I really loved her character, I thought that she was well done, but Ashton wasn’t.
Spoilers!
I feel like the original mission of the Keuse didn’t make much sense. They wanted to warn the normals and get them out of Perfection, but really they are always on the losing side because there will always be more normals inside to replace those they warn, and their children are still being taken, so they are fighting a losing battle. It would have made more sense if they wanted to destroy Perfection like they plan to at the end of the book.
I also felt like certain people and things were introduced into the story and then just sort of faded out of the story after a while. This was true of Tammie when she was being warned and Kaleb was talking to Ashton, because after that Tammie drops out of the story until we discover that she did join the Keuse. I think the author meant it to be surprising, but it just irritated me and at a few points in between I was wondering where she went. This also happened with Tosha and Wrede toward the end, as well as her family life. There were a few sentences in the middle of the book saying that Ashton was spending a lot of time with her family to help avoid suspicion but it doesn’t tell us what she did. It seemed like she had no life outside of the Keuse and her mission. And what did she do in school all this time? All of a sudden it’s basically graduation and she has to pick a job or she gets in trouble, but nothing was ever explained about her schooling. Her older brother and his wife are introduced briefly in the beginning and fall out of the book completely and are never mentioned again, so I feel like it was kind of pointless introducing them if they played no role in the story.
I actually really liked the character of Harmony. I feel like this was a nod to Hermione, especially since she was described as looking like Hermione and acting like her (when in doubt, go to the library). I’m not sure if she is a Harry and Hermione shipper, since I believe Harmony is the ship name for that pairing. I actually wish her character was included more in the story.
I also think Ashton’s dad was not characterized well because in the beginning he was really loving but when he found out about her involvement with the Keuse he changed completely from loving father to cold blooded sadistic killer, where it seemed like her really wanted to kill her and would enjoy doing it. I liked this, but it was such an abrupt change, and it really only reinforced what the Keuse were saying, that the Tiran are the bad guys. If he had really wanted to make her stop, he should have been firm with her but been nice, because then how could she believe they are bad? And even though she is rebelling against everything the Tiran stand for, everything he stands for, she is still his daughter. Even if she is not his biological daughter, he still raised her and cared about her. I don’t believe that he could have put on an act like that all the time for so many years, so he probably wouldn’t have been that eager to kill her. True, he was holding back and waiting for proof of her betrayal, which we were told is not something they normally do, and he didn’t tell the other Tiran about her, but even so I feel like he would still not be that cold to her all of a sudden and really want to kill her, especially after he just found out about the situation. If she continued to disobey him after he tried to help her back on the “right” path, then I could see where maybe he could turn out that way, but I don’t think he would feel that way toward his daughter so quickly. I was also shocked that he didn’t bring up her name at all during his speech. Maybe that was also to protect her, although if he wants to kill her that badly then I wouldn’t think so. He could have brought her up, saying that the “evil” Keuse had even seduced his daughter and made her betray Perfection and use it as proof that the Keuse are dangerous, if they were able to make the daughter of a Tiran betray her family and her country. Unless they already explained her absence to those that know her by claiming that she died. Hopefully in the next book we will get more of a glimpse of what really goes on in Perfection.
I am still conflicted as to whether I want to read the next book when it is published, since I wasn’t a big fan of this one. I feel like I should still give her a chance and maybe there will be improvement, but at the same time I feel like I won’t be able to force myself through another 450 pages of Ashton’s stupidity and that I will be wasting my time and end up dnfing it. I am also hesitant because I would be buying it since my library wouldn’t have it and I don’t want to waste the money on something I won’t like, but I still want to know how it ends. I probably will try it and try to push through, but if it is basically the same as this I might end up dnfing it.
I was sort of hesitant to read this because I watch Merphy on YouTube, although I have only watched her videos for a few months. I was wary of reading it because I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it, and then I might feel the need to say that it was great in my review even if I didn’t like it because it’s her first novel and in a way I kind of know her through YouTube. I want her to succeed and do well and write great books, but the problem is I didn’t think that this book was that great. I had a lot of problems with it, and it definitely felt like a debut novel. I am not going to sugarcoat this review because of who she is, I am going to review this like I would any other book. It is not my intention to be mean, but to give constructive criticism.
The action started out far too soon in the story, and there was not really enough time to see how Perfection really works. We don’t know how big it is or how things really work there other than the Perfects and the Non-perfects thing, which is confusing in the beginning because it is not explained. The world-building was definitely lacking and could have been better. The book just seemed to drag on and on, as I was reading I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t gotten to 50% with all the time I had been reading. Maybe it was because I was stopping to write so many notes because I got really frustrated sometimes, but it just seemed way too long for what it was. I considered dnfing it because it was just so long and I didn’t want to continue because of Ashton’s stupidity (more on that in a minute), but I pushed through because I felt like I had to give it a chance since I do like her videos and it’s her first novel.
The story started out okay, but it sort of went downhill because of the main character. I grew to really despise Ashton because she made so many stupid, rash, and selfish decisions especially throughout the middle portion of the book. Sometimes she admitted that she knew what she was doing was stupid, and that sometimes she was selfish, but she still continued to do stupid things and never learned from her mistakes, even when she put many other people’s lives in danger and jeopardized their mission or ruined the plans that they had. Later on she felt guilty for what she had done, but no one berated her for doing these stupid things, even if there were dire consequences and a lot of damage afterwards. They all just said that she was doing a great job and that it wasn’t her fault, even though she was totally ruining everything, and she did things they specifically told her not to do. They told her to wait, and she doesn’t. They called her a leader even though she was a terrible one, and if they want to succeed they can’t have Ashton running around doing as she pleases just because she all of a sudden changes things. She acted really stupid and selfish throughout the book, and honestly she is up there with characters like Holden Caulfield and Bella Swan as one of the characters I hate the most. Not only did she act stupid, but she really had no strength or backbone to her either, and she was horrible at lying. She would lie but people would already know the truth or see right through her and say “are you sure you aren’t really doing...” whatever it is basically and she won’t even try to deny it or make up an excuse, she would just give in, and that’s not a good thing when you are trying to be sneaky and hide this secret so people don’t get put in danger or killed. I just think that Ashton is not really portrayed realistically because she herself does not really change her behavior throughout the book. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes and think of the lives she is putting at risk.
She is also a sort of cliche character, and made me really think of Bella Swan, because she is clumsy and thinks that she’s not attractive, and I am not a fan of this because it is used way too much to try to give the character flaws but it only serves to make them even more unrealistic. I think her being clumsy is the more unrealistic if the two because the number of times she trips and falls is ridiculous, no one would actually fall that many times in a row.
It seemed to me that I saw evidence of the influence of the Remnant Chronicles (aka The Kiss of Deception) in this book, especially with the similar names ( Kaleb and Kaden). I know that she really liked that series, as well as The Selection, which I could see elements of as well. There were times when I was reminded of other dystopian books that I read a while back and it made me want to reread them and continue on with some of the series.
There were spelling and grammatical errors that did not make the story any better either. Several times Candice is spelled Candace and Cecilia is misspelled once as well, although these were really minor issues. I did really love how she spelled Candice differently though, and I really loved her character, I thought that she was well done, but Ashton wasn’t.
Spoilers!
I feel like the original mission of the Keuse didn’t make much sense. They wanted to warn the normals and get them out of Perfection, but really they are always on the losing side because there will always be more normals inside to replace those they warn, and their children are still being taken, so they are fighting a losing battle. It would have made more sense if they wanted to destroy Perfection like they plan to at the end of the book.
I also felt like certain people and things were introduced into the story and then just sort of faded out of the story after a while. This was true of Tammie when she was being warned and Kaleb was talking to Ashton, because after that Tammie drops out of the story until we discover that she did join the Keuse. I think the author meant it to be surprising, but it just irritated me and at a few points in between I was wondering where she went. This also happened with Tosha and Wrede toward the end, as well as her family life. There were a few sentences in the middle of the book saying that Ashton was spending a lot of time with her family to help avoid suspicion but it doesn’t tell us what she did. It seemed like she had no life outside of the Keuse and her mission. And what did she do in school all this time? All of a sudden it’s basically graduation and she has to pick a job or she gets in trouble, but nothing was ever explained about her schooling. Her older brother and his wife are introduced briefly in the beginning and fall out of the book completely and are never mentioned again, so I feel like it was kind of pointless introducing them if they played no role in the story.
I actually really liked the character of Harmony. I feel like this was a nod to Hermione, especially since she was described as looking like Hermione and acting like her (when in doubt, go to the library). I’m not sure if she is a Harry and Hermione shipper, since I believe Harmony is the ship name for that pairing. I actually wish her character was included more in the story.
I also think Ashton’s dad was not characterized well because in the beginning he was really loving but when he found out about her involvement with the Keuse he changed completely from loving father to cold blooded sadistic killer, where it seemed like her really wanted to kill her and would enjoy doing it. I liked this, but it was such an abrupt change, and it really only reinforced what the Keuse were saying, that the Tiran are the bad guys. If he had really wanted to make her stop, he should have been firm with her but been nice, because then how could she believe they are bad? And even though she is rebelling against everything the Tiran stand for, everything he stands for, she is still his daughter. Even if she is not his biological daughter, he still raised her and cared about her. I don’t believe that he could have put on an act like that all the time for so many years, so he probably wouldn’t have been that eager to kill her. True, he was holding back and waiting for proof of her betrayal, which we were told is not something they normally do, and he didn’t tell the other Tiran about her, but even so I feel like he would still not be that cold to her all of a sudden and really want to kill her, especially after he just found out about the situation. If she continued to disobey him after he tried to help her back on the “right” path, then I could see where maybe he could turn out that way, but I don’t think he would feel that way toward his daughter so quickly. I was also shocked that he didn’t bring up her name at all during his speech. Maybe that was also to protect her, although if he wants to kill her that badly then I wouldn’t think so. He could have brought her up, saying that the “evil” Keuse had even seduced his daughter and made her betray Perfection and use it as proof that the Keuse are dangerous, if they were able to make the daughter of a Tiran betray her family and her country. Unless they already explained her absence to those that know her by claiming that she died. Hopefully in the next book we will get more of a glimpse of what really goes on in Perfection.
I am still conflicted as to whether I want to read the next book when it is published, since I wasn’t a big fan of this one. I feel like I should still give her a chance and maybe there will be improvement, but at the same time I feel like I won’t be able to force myself through another 450 pages of Ashton’s stupidity and that I will be wasting my time and end up dnfing it. I am also hesitant because I would be buying it since my library wouldn’t have it and I don’t want to waste the money on something I won’t like, but I still want to know how it ends. I probably will try it and try to push through, but if it is basically the same as this I might end up dnfing it.